Earth That Was
by Spryte Magnus
Summary: Post Miranda, River is mystified when 'Angels', strangers and friends, inform her she must travel in time to Save Earth that Was. But can she do whats necessary, or will lost love get in the way? - Some shades of the show Medium in the form of Walker. Post Season 5, Season 6 doesn't exist.
1. Prologue: The Burning Giant

_There was a beautiful woman with silver hair. She seemed so familiar to River. She reached out to her.  
"You must lead him to Redemption. You must make Earth that Was become Earth That Is. The future musn't follow the current. You will not be alone in your question. There will be allies you must make. Tread softly."  
"Him...?" River whispered, her face filled with confusion. Then she was elsewhere._

_She was used traveling in her sleep. Her mind was especially as such. The silver haired woman took her hand and they flew through all the cosmos. Stars and planets flew by. They arrived and another woman with black hair looked up. She didn't speak, and it was only then River realized, to her amazement, both women wore no clothing. In fact they barely had forms. The colors weren't really hair as much as auras. A shining black light and a shining silver light. They conversed and the scene changed yet again._

_He was in pain. The boy was in great pain. He was tall, River could somehow tell, despite the fact that he was sitting in a corner of the room. It was an odd room, and it took River a minute to realize she was in his mind. But why was his mind a nursery? It smelled of smoke and eggs. His hair was brown and a mess, like he'd been tugging at it._  
_"No. Leave him alone. Don't do this anymore..."_  
_"What haunts you?" River knelt next to him, the giant in denim. He looked up slowly, his eyes red from crying._  
_"Who...how did you get in here..." He frowned._  
_"Are you just pulling on another form?"_  
_"I don't know what you're talking about..." River whispered. "The women brought me here. They said I must lead someone to redemption. Are you him?"_  
_"...I'm Sam."_  
_"River."_

_There was silence for a moment and she sat beside him._  
_"Is this your nursery? How do you remember it?"_  
_"People kept showing it to me through their memories."_  
_"How do you know its your nursery then?" River tilted her head._  
_"This is how my damnation began. First Y.E.D. enters and 'feeds' me. Then my mother comes in..." He looked ready to cry again as the scene changed. "And dies just like she did."_

_River blinked as they watched the scene. It was the Giant when he was a few years younger. He'd walked into the bed room, looking for someone, and collapsed onto the bed. A moment passed and a dark red liquid dripped. River looked up as the younger Sam began screaming. A young woman, blonde and in a white dress, was burning within moments. A shorter man came in and pulled the younger giant out. It was then River realized she and the Giant were in the burning memory and he wasn't moving._  
_"Sam!" She exclaimed. "We need to go!" River knelt down and tugged at his arm, but she was so much smaller. He was taller and had more muscle then she did._  
_"She died because of me."_  
_"I don't know all this...but you didn't set that fire! You didn't put her on the roof! Get up! Get up!"_

_Sam looked up for a moment, hazel eyes locked on her for a moment. He wanted to escape. She could feel that. But something was stopping him._

_River turned slowly to face what he was scared of. Another glowing figure had appeared. But he was different. He was the fire._  
_"How did you get in here? He's never met you before."_  
_"I was brought here. To Redeem."_  
_"To kick me out more like. It's not happening."_

_Fire surrounded her and River screamed. But it did not burn. Another light appeared and reached out to her._  
_"River, come on! We don't have long." It was a voice she knew and trusted as River grasped for it._  
_"Wash?" She paused for a moment, looking back to the Giant as the Fire approached him._  
_"Hang on!" River cried out. "I'll come for you! Wait!"_

It was gone as fast as it had happened. River woke up back on the Serenity. She'd been expecting peaceful slumber after everything that had happened. Now she wasn't haunted by the echoes of Miranda. Now she was haunted by echoes of Earth that Was.

She stood up quietly on her bare feet and walked to the mirror. Now that she was better, and that Simon was usually sharing a bunk with Kaylee, she had a cabin to her own. River pulled a hand through her black hair as she mulled over the odd dream. Before, when she had the dreams, she told Simon, Book, or Wash. Simon would inject her with medicine. Book would say how he was sure she had a higher purpose. Wash would make jokes most of the time. She still preferred loose clothing, wearing her yellow robe from Inara. Her black hair was still curly and long. But her eyes were still haunted. They weren't haunted as they'd once been but because of personal experience.

People had died because of her. People who'd sheltered her and been her family. Now they were dead. She missed the Shepherd Book and Wash, especially with Zoe expecting. So caught up in her thoughts, it took River a moment to realize there was a glowing essence in the corner of the room.  
"Wash?"


	2. Chapter 1: Job Description

All that floated there was a single glowing spark, much like a blue lightning bug. In the same breath River knew, without a doubt, it was Wash. He laughed as River sat at the end of the bed. This confused her because he had no mouth.  
"Turns out Book was right. There is stuff after Death. Ain't as fun, but its there."  
"There's so much-Zoe-"  
"Easy River. For one, if anyone else comes down here and sees me they'll probably be blinded while hearing a high pitch ringing. They're still working on getting me a vessel."  
"What?" River blinked in confusion.  
"I'm an Angel. The two women in your dream were also sort of Angels. They're Serenity-the spirit of this very ship-and Paula. Paula has a longer name but she prefers Paula."  
"How do I save the Giant?"

Wash laughed for a moment before answering the question.  
"It's no easy task. Surprised you're jumping to it so fast."  
"He's in pain. What happened to him?"  
"Quite frankly I don't know. There are those who do."  
"How do I find them?"  
"When the gang lands in Persephone a man will be waiting for you. You'll know him. Dressed up all fancy like. Don't worry, he's not Alliance. He's like me just older and more experience. He's also more involved in the case of 'the Giant' as you phrased it. He wears a long beige jacket. He'll be looking for you. I don't have long, you're about to get a visitor. Remember, you're probably the last shot Earth that Was has. Once you go back in time...you might not be able to come back."

The lightning bug vanished as Zoe entered.  
"You talking to someone honey?"  
"No." River faked a smile. "No one at all." She stood up. "How far are we from Persephone?"  
"Landing in an hour. Why do you ask?"  
"An hour." River sighed. "Thank you." _An hour to say goodbye to my family._


	3. Chapter 2: Forget Me Not

It was an odd feeling as River walked around the ship. She couldn't tell any of them that she was going away. They'd want an explanation or assume she was going crazy again. Maybe she was. But she had an hour to somehow tell them all good bye with out actually saying those words.

Kaylee was the first one River found. She was working on the engine, making sure it ran ship shape. She was in the same overalls as the first time they met, the day she got shot. Well, no, they couldn't be the same. The stain was gone. But they were similar and her brown hair was matted and there was a smudge of grease on her cheek and Simon was on her mind. She looked up and smiled as River approached.  
"Hey sweetie. What is it? I'm afraid tag ain't on the list of things I can do right."  
"I just want to tell you something, that's all." She whispered. Kaylee blinked for a moment.  
"Can I work while you talk?"  
"I'd like that." That way River's memory of Kaylee would be as it had always been, keeping the Angel flying.  
"You've got a knack with engines. You're going to be a good role model for the baby. My brother's a goofball. You know that. But he loves you, though he hasn't gotten around to saying it. I hope for the best of you two!" And she skipped off as Kaylee lifted her head to speak. She hoped for the best for them. It was a quieter way of saying she wouldn't be able to find out.

Simon was in the infirmary, sorting everything out. He was thinking how much progress she was making and that Kaylee was nice.  
"You should send out a wave when we stop somewhere. Advertise your medical know how." River hugged her brother for a moment. "And make Kaylee and honest woman. I'd love to see her as my sister in law." Before he could even blush she was gone. She'd love to see it, but she doubted she would.

Jayne was cleaning his gun Vera, the only love of his life. He was thinking about her stats mostly, which was better then when he thought about women.  
"You're not going to have any luck with women if you don't change your ways." River stated and Jayne jerked his head up to yell at her. "Unless you get a sex change and become a Lesbian. Then maybe your approaches will work. I hope you live in interesting times." Leaving him to his thoughts, she left with the chinese curse.

Inara was in her shuttle, the door open. She'd been taking less and less appointments because of her confused feelings about Mal. River was curious and terrified of love by watching them.  
"He cares about you. He just doesn't know how to say it. That's why he got in a duel over you. That's why he went to get you when the Operative appeared. Captain just doesn't know how to express himself."

River had escaped through the vents before dropping into the cod pit. Her time was slipping away faster it seemed. But she couldn't leave the gentle Giant burning. She needed to save him. If the Angels were telling the truth, it would change a lot of things. Maybe people wouldn't die for her.  
"Albatross? What's this about you scaring everyone?" Mal hadn't been as quiet as he thought he had, she simply had cared to look up before he spoke. River exhaled for a moment before speaking.  
"Let Kaylee marry my brother or she will anyway. Help Zoe through this. Don't let Jayne get breasts. And tell Inara how you feel about her before you can't."  
"Excuse me?"  
"Good luck, Captain." She left moments before Inara entered the cabin.

Zoe was in her cabin, acting cold, but screaming on the inside. She'd been doing this a lot since Wash died. River approached her slowly.  
"It will be a girl. Name her Miranda."  
"What?" Zoe looked up slowly, her screaming paused.  
"Some day you'll see Wash again. Book was right. There is a beyond." River shut her eyes. "Or maybe, before you know it...he won't be dead."

She skipped out as they were landing. Kaylee had barely opened the door when all of the crew realized River was in her combat boots. She ran out of the ship before the ramp was extended and landed on her feet. They all began yelling and trying to get her to stop and come back. River glanced back for a moment and the whole ship as the ramp jammed like she knew it would. Tears formed in her eyes as the crew tried to climb out and fix it.  
"Good bye!" She shouted before turning and running through the market. "Forget-me-not!"


	4. Chapter 3: Badger of Black Eyes

"Are you River Tam?"

River turned to where the man in the trench coat stood. Had Wash not warned her ahead of time she would have thought he was alliance. But something about him was difference. His mind was a mess of confusion. He had obligation to his 'father' but he wanted to help his 'friend'. Faces flashed in his memory and her eyes went wide.  
"You know Sam and Dean."  
"I see Paula and Serenity already connected you..." He frowned, but his mind showed a resemblance of joy, "I am Castiel. Once you are ready I will be the one who takes you back to the time when Earth was."  
"Where the Giant suffers."  
"I am not allowed to appear near him. But if you seek him out I am not to stop you." Castiel shook his head. "I won't be able to dwell. Should the version of me that exists in that time and I cross paths the result would be disastrous. Come. We need to find an animal about getting you supplies."  
"An animal?" River raised an eyebrow as they walked through the market.  
"Some kind of mammal. A badger."  
"Oh!" River paused. "You mean Badger. Badger is a person. I know the way."

Badger looked up as River entered and groaned.  
"Do you mean to bring the crew down on me? Please just go back to your damn ship. I don't want any trouble here..." His thoughts patterns changed drastically when Castiel entered, "What the hell are you doing here?"  
"I assure you Crowley I don't want to be in your presence anymore then you enjoy mine. She is the one who can repair the world."  
"This one-" Badger/Crowley exclaimed, "Can help Sam tame the devil? This little girl is Raziel?" While River couldn't get much off the name she learned Badger's real name was in fact Crowley. Furthermore...  
"You're a Demon." River stated. Badger froze and shook his head. For a moment his eyes turned black as coal.  
"The telepath over there never even figured out that much before."  
"The Seraphim have decided. She's already been connected."  
"Without training?" Badger's eyes went wide. "She'll be soot in no time! Hellfire consumes from the inside out!"  
"Which is why we're here." Castiel replied. "We need supplies."  
"Supplies. Why do you think I carry any supplies you need?"  
"We need the Gospel of Winchester so she can learn everything she doesn't know. She'll need one of your pups for protection."  
"We're talking a good deal of merchandize." Badger's eyes turned black again and stayed that way. "How do you plan to pay?"  
"If I succeed Lucifer will be gone for good." River was reading off both their minds now. Castiel glanced at her, uneasy by how well she could play it off. "You can trade to Demons again after a while. Start up the breeding business. Maybe invest in some new crossroads. You won't need to pose as a human anymore. You won't need to deal with humans anymore, unless you want to. You won't be the last demon standing."

Badger eyed her for a moment before speaking.  
"And Miss Tam, how do you intend to promise me you'll keep your end of the deal?"  
"Because," River stated with a smile, "No power in the 'verse can stop me."


	5. Chapter 4: Supplies

"That isn't the Gospel of Winchester."

Badger had handed River some sort of device. She was trying to turn on the screen when Castiel said this.  
"No," Badger admitted, "Its an E-Reader. There are over a hundred books in the Gospel of Winchester. Thanks to the Prophet Chuck giving digital rights to that fruity company before he disappeared Miss Tam don't have to carry all that bulk. It doesn't have much charge." Badger sighed as he handed River a wire.  
"When you get there you plug it in and let it charge while you read."  
"Right." River slid the objects into a pack she'd packed a couple of her things in.  
"You'll need a few things to defend yourself." Badger presented a  
knife. "This will hurt the demon within a possessed human as well as the human. It cab kill a demon, and other paranormal baddies. However it requires close range, so learn other ways to kill them." He handed over the knife. River hesitated before taking it and sliding in a leather sheath. It was dropped into the bag  
"Now this..." Badger pulled a weapon out of his desk that made Castiel twitch. "Is an Archangel blade. There haven't been any Arches in a long time, so know I've been holding onto it for a while. It's the only known weapon that kills any Angel. Including, if you get a good shot, Lucifer."  
"The Devil." River stated as she took the holy metal. She couldn't say why but it felt familiar and easy to wield.  
"When you wear sleeves you can place a mechanisim that holds it in place on your arm." Castiel pulled up his sleeve.  
"Mine isn't as powerful. I'm curious where the parasite got his."  
"Hey! No name calling!" Badger protested. "I'm helping! And this guy was becoming a nut job, preparing to take himself out. I'm keeping the vessal alive this whole time. Miss Tam will need these." He gave her a wallet. "Plenty of cash-real. Not much value today but the when you're going to requires it for everything. You'll need to get more somehow. Some fake credit cards I.D.s-don't let when you're from to anyone but Castiel and I-we'll believe and help you."  
"And why would past you help her?" Castiel questioned.  
"While guilt racks you..." Badger exhaled, "When Lucifer got out I was against it for a number of reasons."  
"You loved the flower of god."

River had pulled it out of his mind. He was thinking about the past when they were just smokey figures. 'She' was all he needed. He didn't want 'her' to die for the rise of Lucifer. As a demon he hadn't been able to express how much he cared about her until he was mourning her loss.  
"Lilith. You want Lucifer defeated. You're hoping if I go back far enough I can save her." River stated. Castiel's face was unchanging but his mind showed ammusement.  
"You were bisexual?" He addressed Crowley/Badger. The demon glared at him.  
"Only Lilith. We got Beezlebub together. The rumors about that were true. Weren't there similar rumors about you and Anael?" Badger continued as Castiel glared back.  
Besides, she won't go that far back. But when past me sees her with Grimoire it will work. Grim's just a puppy then."  
"Grimoire?" River asked.  
"The Hellhound I'm sending with you. And bring this with you." Badger took his hat off as River dropped the wallet in her bag. River raised an eyebrow as she took it.  
"It was a gift. I lost track of it for a while." Badger sighed. "I bought it off a trader after Earth was in the past. I'll know what it means."  
"Okay..." River exhaled. "Now what?"  
"I get you some extra clothing, Grim, and Castiel sends you back in time. Ah, there's Grim now."

River blinked for a moment as she faced the Hellhound. She'd expected something scarier. The dog looked like whisps of smoke to her, but it seemed familiar.  
"Alright." She sighed. "When do I-" Castiel placed a hand to her forehead. River passed out as the cosmos rushed by.


	6. Chapter 5: Window

_It was a different room in the Giant's memories. River approached Sam in the corner. He had his head in his arms and his arms on his knees._  
_"Sam?" River sat next to him._  
_"He promised he wouldn't hurt him." Sam whispered. "Promised he wouldn't kill him. So why is he there?"_

_Rivet looked up slowly. Across from them was a wide window. A light was flickering over one corner. Over the green lawn was a house. Inside they could see a family having dinner. There was a man, a woman, and a little boy._  
_"He won't harm a hair on Dean's head but he'll kill them. He'll kill Lisa and Ben. He'll make Dean miserable."_  
_"Dean?" She couldn't read his mind from within the mindscape._  
_"My older brother. He did so much. I tried to make a deal with the Devil. I tried to keep him imprisoned. All so Dean could have a life. Now he's going to use my hands to destroy my brother without touching him."_  
_"But you're still here!" River exclaimed. "You can fight him!"_  
_"Why does it matter to you...?" He looked up slowly, hazel eyes scared. River met his eyes and embraced him slowly. "I don't know. The powers that be decided I should help you. Now we're connected. Maybe we've always been connected but couldn't tell. I'm here now. I'll find you."_


	7. Chapter 6: Jump Over the Candlestick

River blinked for a moment as Grim panted next to her. She was lying on a lawn. There was a streetlight flickering and a house.  
"I know where I am." She scrambled to her feet. Through the window was the same family. They were safe for now. But River saw Sam-no. She understood somehow the controlling mind was the Fire, not the Giant. The Devil was wearing Sam as he walked down the sidewalk, toward the house.  
"No!"

River threw herself at him. She was on his back and holding on, pounding on his chest.  
"Sam! I know you're listening! I know you can hear! Fight the Fire!" She was screeching like a Banshee. The element of surprise was her friend. The Devil was confused and trying to pull her down. The family inside had heard the fuss. The man-she heard the name 'Dean' clear as day-told Lisa to go out the back with Ben.

In a moment Dean had emerged and his eyes were wide. Satan threw down River and she yelped.  
"Grim!" She cried out, "Help!" The smoke charged. Satan glowered before vanishing. River collapsed on the grass, panting.  
"What are you?" Dean stood over her and River sighed.  
"I wish I knew."


	8. Chapter 7: Fairy Tale

_"Thank you."_

_They were in another room. Sam was sitting on a couch. Take out containers littered the table. There was a small kitchenette in another part of the place. A dog ran over to River and sniffed her._  
_"Bones, she's a friend!" Sam walked over and River watched the Giant. He seemed lighter then before. He was relieved. He was smiling, wearing a grey tee shirt and jeans._  
_"This is a happier memory." River smiled lightly._  
_"Its kind of a memory. It's part of my mind." Sam sighed. "You stopped him."_  
_"I don't think I was alone. You heard me, didn't you?" River faced him. Sam paused for a moment before answering._  
_"I did. I was able to hold him long enough to go elsewhere. He's pissed, but for now he's not here. He's probably watching."_  
_"You have an overprotective older brother too?" River sat down and sunk onto the couch._  
_"Dean. Yeah. You too?"_  
_"Simon." River laughed. "I'm the Smarter one. He hates to admit it. He saved me though. I owe him."_  
_"Sounds familiar." Sam smiled weakly. "What he save you from?"_  
_"People came. They took me. I was changed. Now I'm kind of a freak. I can read minds. I'm a human weapon at the right trigger."_  
_"Now your story is sounding eerily familiar." Sam laughed._  
_"Really?" River looked up. "Whats yours?" The light flickered as shadows covered the window. Bones began barking as Sam jumped to his feet, alarm clear on his face._  
_"He's coming. You need to get away."_  
_"I don't know how!" River exclaimed. The Fire was coming fast. "I fall asleep and I'm here! I wake up and I'm not!"_  
_"So you're sleeping." Sam clarified._  
_"I passed out after..." River trailed off. Sam grabbed her shoulders for a moment._  
_"Then let this be like a fairy tale and that God hasn't abandoned you like he has me." Then he kissed her._


	9. Chapter 8: Declaring a Side

"I'm telling you she controlled a Hellhound. Bobby, what is she?"

River awoke to that discussion. She lay on a cot and sat up. The room was covered in stars and made of metal. Books lined the shelf and Dean was talking with an older man in a cap. The man was shuffling through her bag.  
"She's not a demon but she's packing heat. What I assume is a Demon killing knife and an Angelic Blade."  
"Whose side is she on?"  
"I'm on Sam's side."

River sat up as Dean and Bobby faced her. Her lips still tingled but she resisted the urge to touch them.  
"Pardon?" Dean looked ready to attack. Bobby held him back.  
"Who are you?"  
"River Tam."  
"Who gave you all this?"  
"Badger." River paused. "But you know him as Crowley. He and Castiel worked to prepare me to come back here."  
"Those two? Work together?" Dean snorted and walked to the side.  
"I know you don't believe me..." River sighed. "But you saw Lucifer wearing your brother. He got out of the prison..."

He was thinking about when Sam had gained control and throw himself in a pit, Lucifer locked in his mind. It was a prison using the power if the four rings from the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. But he'd had to drag their half brother Adam-being controlled by Michael the Archangel.

"The cell overloaded, I think. There was too much power. Both Crowley and Castiel are afraid of the future Lucifer will create. Crowley is still a L.I.L.A.S." River giggled. "While right now he has no lover, he is a lover in league against Satan."  
"While I believe that, Castiel went up top to run Heaven." Dean snorted.  
"So that's why he felt guilt..." River stood up.  
"None the less I'm here to save Sam and so the world."  
"I can't help." Dean muttered. "I promised him I'd back down."  
"I only ask you protect your loved one. For Sam's sake." River stared through the fan in the ceiling. "His spirit resists Lucifer, but it's weak. If the Devil uses him to kill Ben and Lisa he won't be able to stand how you look at him. It would still be Sam's hands coated in their blood, even if he wasn't in control. He'd fade away."

Dean's expression went through confusion, rage, relief, and disbelief. He and Bobby went to talk for a moment but River heard them none the less.  
"I promised Sam I wouldn't poke my nose into this!"  
"You're not! You'd be helping one girl find Crowley and maybe Castiel!"  
"I couldn't call Cas now if I wanted to! I doubt he answers the phone now that he's a Heavenly Hot Shot!"  
"Can you drop her off at Crowley's?"  
"You want me to drop off a defenseless girl-"  
"Hardly defenseless! Think about what she's carrying!"  
"We don't know if she can use them! What if she's being used as a tool?"  
"I am not a tool!"

Both of them jerked when River snarled this, seeming taller.  
"Serenity and Paula asked me to save the world! People will die if I don't!" Wash and Book appeared for a moment in her memory. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
"Serenity and Paula?"  
"The angels who connected me to Sam."  
"Angels. Multiple. Helping." Dean groaned. "If you're not crazy this is a bad sign."  
"Will you help me find Crowley?" River folded her arms. She longed to take off her boots and run bare foot. That wasn't something she could do yet. Dean inhaled deeply before answering.  
"I'll give you a damn lift."


	10. Chapter 9: Echo

"Paula."

Dean had complimented, not realizing she'd called his car by a name, not it's model. River rolled her eyes as she slid into the car. Oh well. Wasn't like it mattered. They were driving, heading off to find Crowley.

It was her first car ride and she felt frail. Tha car wad almost recalling it's accident.  
"Where you from?" Dean asked as River climbed into the backseat.  
"Orsiris." She replied simply.  
"Where's that?"  
"Central."  
"Okay...not talkative I see."  
"Correct."

River exhaled as she leaned back. His mind was buzzing with questions. _What is she? I've never heard of Orisis. Why was she pulled into this? When did Cas pop down to talk to her? Why did he and Crowley recruit her? What don't I know?_

_I can't believe it ate my homework._

River turned to the seat next to her and behind Dean. There was a younger boy sitting there playing with an army man. He jammed it into the ash tray, irritated. The litte boy vanished but the army man remained. River reached over slowly, her hand running over it. _Sam..._ She thought and she recalled the kiss. Why had he done that? River shut her eyes. _I have to see him again..._


	11. Chapter 10: Demon You Know

"What do you want from me, Winchester?"

Crowley was none to happy to see Dean. River could read that immediately. She had not yet been noticed. Dean held up his hands and shook his head.  
"Weird girl asked me to bring her to you. She's got a knife almost identical to Ruby's, an Angelic Blade, and a damn Hell Hound among other things. I assumed you're acquainted." Dean stated. River dug into her knapsack as Crowley glanced at her.  
"This skinny little-she looks like she could break at any second!"  
"She was able to hold back Lucifer-who by the way, is free again and wearing Sam-long enough that Lisa and Ben got away. She's also got a way of...well, just knowing shit. She claims you and Cas sent her."  
"Me work with-"

Crowley fell silent as he saw River holding the bowler hat. Well, he didn't say anything for a moment.  
_She is the last chance. She is...she?_  
"I know her. Go back to your lass and mini you. I'll handle things on this front."

Dean didn't wait up and walked back to the car, thinking of getting a drink.

Crowley turned back to River and took his hat, looking like Badger in that simple move.  
"Welcome back, Raziel."


	12. Chapter 11: ChinaDoll Filled with C4

_Raziel?_

Grim the Hellhound was in the next room wrestling with Beezlebub. Grim the puppy had jumped into River's arms. Crowley exhaled as he led River into an office. He was hiding out in the suburbs in a one story house.  
"So I assume you're here for the sake of Sammy boy?"  
"I'm to late to save Lilith..." River read the remorse clearly in his mind, "I'm sorry."

He tensed for a moment.  
"So this time around you read minds."  
"What does the hat mean?" River asked. Crowley chuckled as he pulled his hat on.  
"You gave it to me. On the new frontier back when it was new."  
"Pardon?" River's mind raced. That was a name for space, right?  
"When humans started to settle the west." Crowley glanced at her. "What did the other me send you with other then Grim and the hat?"

River dumped the contents of her bag on a desk and Crowley raised an eyebrow.  
"Ruby's knife and an Angelic Blade I get. But an E-Reader?"  
"Cas said something about the Gospel of Winchester."  
"Jesus H. Christ." Crowley moved to charge it. "What sort of future has me working with him...?"  
"How do I free Sam?" River asked. Crowley froze and faced her.  
"So Paula and Serenity didn't send you with a plan. They just shipped you."  
"And Wash, you, and Castiel."  
"Bloody Hell. No offense, but you look fragile."  
"I can fight." River stated as she crossed her arms.  
"Not saying you can't lass."  
"It's what you were thinking."  
"How did you-don't answer that. Telepathic again."  
"Among other things."  
"Such as?" Crowley leaned back in his seat. River grinned for a moment.  
"I can kill with my brain."


	13. Chapter 12: 'The Talk'

_'It had been over a year since Sam felt this way about a girl. As he held Madison, as she kissed him, his heart lightened. It was the first good thing to happen to him in months. They'd fallen onto the bed, her shirt slipping off...'_

"River? Did you hear me? I brought lunch."

River jerked her head up as Crowley sorted out the chinese food on the table. He glanced up from a carton of fried rice.  
"What is it? You're red."  
"I'm having trouble with a sentence." River stated as she grabbed some Leechi nuts.  
"I thought you had a super brain." Crowley replied as he scooped out some lo mein. "You eat like a bird."  
"It doesn't It refers to a shaking person belonging to a club, but possessive, entering a girl's soaked cat."  
"What?" Crowley replied, "Confusing, even for Chuck's Gospel of Winchester. Pass it here. You're probably reading it wrong."

River shrugged and slid the e-reader over as she fed Grim an egg roll. Puppy Grim got a shrimp.  
"Let's see..." Crowley tapped it. "His quivering member slipped into her dripping wet..." He froze and put down his plate for Beezlebub. "I'm no longer hungry."  
"What does it mean?" River ate another leechi. Crowley stared at her.  
"You don't get what..."  
"Or the bit about 'they reached Heaven and her valley collapsed into milky floods'. Did they die?"

River tilted her head as Crowley stared at her.  
"What do you know about sex?"  
"It makes babies."  
"Oh dear god I am not giving you the talk Glad to know you're about two thirds done already."  
"The talk?" River snagged a dumpling from his platter.  
"How can you be so smart and Naive at the same time?"

River shrugged. Over the last week so Crowley had learned how to guard his thoughts from her. He did this by imaging a wall of fire and whenever River got to close to it, it burned. He didn't do it often, but it was up now, guarding 'the talk'.

"I found someone who might be able to help us." Crowley stated as River speculated over a fortune cookie. "She's a psychic in Lawrence, Kansas."  
"Hm?" River looked up after memorizing the numbers on the paper.  
"Has a history with the Winchesters. Powerful Wench. She can help you learn control while I track the Grigori."  
"The Watcher class of Angels. Why do you think they'll help us?" River tilted her head.  
"Simple. They watch the world. They know and feel the state of humanity like someone watching a movie." Crowley stated. "That, and you used to be one."  
"What?" River's eyebrows shot up.  
"Mhm. Raziel was-is, when she's not playing human-a watcher. It's how she keeps track of..." And the fire wall went back up. "You don't need to know that yet. When you're done, get some sleep. We head out early."

River stood up, picking up the E-reader as she made her way to curl up in the sofa and read another few chapters. Crowley cleaned up but before he went to bed he added:  
"And don't stay up all night reading!"


	14. Chapter 13: Kindred Spirits

_"How does a person act as a club?"_

_Sam raised an eyebrow as River asked the question. This time his mind was in Stanford and they were sitting on a bench. He had a paper bag of feed they were tossing to the squirrels. He was wearing sweatpants and a white tee shirt. She was wearing a white kimono ties shut with a blue sash. River was trying to bait out a chipmunk with animal crackers._

_"Been reading Lewis Caroll?" Sam asked._  
_"Nope. Carver Edlund. Supernatural. Book number 39. Heart. And something about a wet cat."_

_Sam placed his face in his hand._  
_"I knew Chuck tended to get Smutty but..."_  
_"Chuck?"_  
_"The Prophet Chuck. Carver Edlund is his pen name." Sam paused as River managed to coax the chipmunk into her hand. "You're reading the Supernatural books?"_  
_"It was Castiel's idea. I've been enjoying them. I was so happy you were able to cure Madison lycanthropy. Why isn't she around looking for you, seeing as you were so close?"_  
_"I guess you didn't finish that book yet."_

* * *

_River hadn't noticed Sam's face darken, but she saw the scene change. The memory Sam was asleep, holding a dark haired woman. _Madison._ It was only briefly on River's mind because Sam rolled over onto his back, practically naked except for the sheet over his nethers. River wasn't entirely sure why blood rushed into her cheeks, but it had._

_Then he turned and Madison was growling on all fours. She hadn't been cured but had jumped out the window. Memory Sam ran to the window.  


* * *

_

_The scene faded and Sam's face was darkened as he leaned against the wall of the room River had first found him in. It wasn't on fire now, merely empty. There was no life, no sheets, no curtain. Outside the windows was darkness._  
_"What happened to Madison?" River sat next to him as she whispered this, scared of the answer. She placed a hand on his shoulder as Sam spoke._  
_"She couldn't stand being a werewolf. She asked me to be the one to end her. I didn't want to but..."_  
_"Better someone she knew." River finished the thought. Wordlessly she embraced him as Sam began to shake._  
_"I couldn't save her."_  
_"There's a few billion people Sam." River whispered. "You have a good average for people you have saved."_  
_"But the people I want to save..."_  
_"Would they want you to be sad for their passing? They went up." She hadn't believed Shepherd Book once. But she'd seen Wash and traveled in time. River knew at least some of it was true._

_Sam exhaled as he let go of her. River became aware once more that proportionately he was much bigger then her._  
_"I've been up there. It's lonely."_  
_"You've been to Heaven?"_  
_"According to Ash my brother and I die more then anyone else."_  
_"Ash dies?" River's eyes widened as she punched him lightly. "Spoiler!"_

_Sam laughed lightly as River leaned back._  
_"Lonely?"_  
_"Unless you bend the rules like Ash did, every person gets a separate Heaven. Except Soul Mates."_  
_"That sucks. How'd he bend the rules?"_  
_"That would be a spoiler."_

_It was River's turn to laugh as Sam shook his head._  
_"I wish I could know you're not a delusion." He stated. River raised an eyebrow._  
_"You think you made me up?"_  
_"I'm afraid I am. I wouldn't mind believing you're real. But that also means you're putting yourself in danger for me."_  
_"My choice. And not just you." River hugged her knees. "I want to change where I'm from."_  
_"Where's that?"_  
_"Osiris." River exhaled. "But because of the experiments my brother got me out and we'd been living outside the law on a ship of smugglers. Their mechanic-Kaylee-fancies him. Took him forever to catch on."_  
_"Heh. Sounds like an interesting life."_  
_"It's not Demon Hunting."_  
_"Why is it so easy talking to you?"_  
_"We're both really smart people who got seriously screwed up by forces beyond our control and have over protective brothers." River stated. Sam smiled lightly and grasped her hand._  
_"So we're kind of kindred souls."_  
_"Yeah." River smiled, "I guess we are."_


	15. Chapter 14: Never a Pig

"River! I told you not to stay up reading."

River sat up groggily as Crowley shook her.  
"I didn't. I was talking with Sam."  
"Talking with-" Crowley stared at her. "How'd you do that?"  
"I don't know." River yawned and stretched as she dug through her bag. "Ever since Serenity and Paula showed me the way, whenever I sleep I slip into his mind scape. He's usually trapped in his own memories."  
"I see." Crowley exhaled. "You're connected again."  
"Again?" River pulled out her sweater and lace like skirt.  
"Missouri will help explain, I hope." Crowley made his way for the door. "When you're done changing we'll head out and grab breakfast on the run."  


* * *

"For the hundredth time, it's a type of sandwich. You eat it." Crowley hissed as River picked at her breakfast sandwich.  
"It's not Pork. It was never a pig." She stated.  
"Pardon?" Crowley raised an eyebrow as he drove.  
"It remembers sunlight feeding it."  
"I'm going to lose weight because of you." Crowley rolled down the window and tossed his sandwich out the window. "Bleeding corporations. They flavor vegetable patties like meat and advertise their 'secret recipe'."  
"Not so secret when the ingredients are listed on the wrapper." River pointed out.  
"You're turning into a smart ass. I won't deny I'm afraid of introducing you to Missouri."  
"Because you think she'll influence me?" River asked.  
"Partially. Also when you find out about the human I was when we first met..." He exhaled. "You may decide I can't be trusted."  
"What was I back then?" River tilted her head.  
"I'd prefer not to tell you. Your name was Rowena. His was Samuel. Mine was Charles. Dean's was Daniel."  
"Sam's name didn't change?"  
"Nope. Not this reincarnation."  
"Before that?"  
"Honestly?" Crowley leaned back. "According to Lilith, no. There was no time before that."  
"I see." River lowered her seat's back.  
"Do not go to sleep." Crowley stated. "You'll see Sam soon enough. Of course your connection worries me about side effects."  
"Side effects?" River raised an eyebrow.  
"Missouri is going to call on your forgotten memories from a past life. You and Sam were close then. You're connected now. He might view it to."  
"Why is that bad?"  
"Sammy boy is emo enough without the help. If he sees what happened before..."  
"What happened...?"  
"You'll find out. Go back to reading. I'll know when you reach Ruby."  
"Hm?" River looked up.  
"You'll know."


	16. Chapter 15: River's Review

It was a long drive. Crowley had stopped for gas-they were driving The Horseman of War's stolen red Mustang. He'd begun pumping gas when he realized River was curled up crying.  
"Girl are you okay?"  
"Sam died."  
"What? Where are you?"  
"Halfway through _All Hell Breaks Loose._"  
"Keep reading. You know he's alive now. Those two don't seem to stay dead this time around." Crowley lifted his hand as River began to protest. "And don't yell at me about spoilers. It's common sense."

It was another few miles before River began to protest.  
"Why does Sam need a spoon to gouge out his eyeballs?"  
"I am not your bloody sex education teacher. Just keep studying and maybe Sam will fill in the blanks later."

"Why would he trust Ruby? She's a demon!" River exclaimed.  
"I'm a demon." Crowley reminded her.  
"Yeah, but I know your purpose is to overthrow Lucifer. You're the enemy of an enemy."  
"So because I'm basically a traitor to my kind you can trust me?"  
"Precisely. Ruby's motives as of _Sin City_ are unknown and she's getting Sam to act very...un..."  
"Sam?" Crowley suggested.  
"Yes!" River exclaimed. "Very un-Sam!"

Crowley was surprised he didn't hear a peep from her for a while. That is, until she reached the end of /When the Levee Breaks./  
"Why would Dean quote what his father said that sent Sam to Stanford? This is horrible! That's stupid!"  
"Quite into it then. Well. Speed read. We're almost there."

Somehow River had gone through _Sympathy for the Devil_ to _Swan Song_ with no more then the occasional squeak. Crowley hadn't been sure what to tell her then. That's where she'd come into the story. All he could tell her was what he knew.  
"We're here."


	17. Chapter 16: Good Night

"River Tam! I've expecting you for four and a half years!"

The larger woman hugged her and River smiled, returning the hug. Crowley was still locking the car up when Missouri yelled for him.  
"Get in here, Walker!"  
"Walker?" River raised an eyebrow as Missouri let go of her. Crowley waved his hand as he closed the door behind them.  
"You'll see soon enough."  
"You've been expecting me?" River faced Missouri.  
"I have. Since I met Sam. I knew when I realized he hadn't encountered you yet. You'd be coming, but only when he was in a whole mess of trouble."  
"On that note," Crowley spoke up, "She has no idea what you're on about."  
"Except she knows what I'm referring to." Missouri stated, "And stay out the brandy!"

The Demon swore in the next room as River sat on a sofa Missouri directed her to.  
"You're talking about Sam and I being connected." River stated.  
"Something like that." Missouri sat across from her in a chair. A table was between them. "Did Crowley tell you what you'll be doing?"  
"Remembering what I forgot, give or take." River stated.  
"Your _past life_."  
"Pardon?" River stammered. "Do you mean before the Academy...?"  
"I mean before you or our current version of Sam were born." Missouri stated, her eyes serious, "It's like your souls are playing an eternal game of tag. Raziel is always trying to catch up with Sammael. Always."  
"I've heard the name 'Raziel' a few times now..." River whispered. "...but Sammael is new."  
"Far from new." Missouri exhaled, "I can show you your past lives. The trouble is you may not like how they ended."  
"Why do I need to know them?" River questioned.  
"The Devil's grasp on Sam is strong. In order to set him free you need to call on your memories together." She explained.  
"Our memories...?" River whispered.  
"When you first encountered Sam, you had this need to protect him, to save him, right?" Missouri asked it like she was asking the time.  
"How did you know that?"  
"Simple. You two are bound until the cycle is broken. But to break the rules you must first learn them. That's where I come in. I can place you in a deep enough sleep that I can help your mind remember what your soul know by reliving it." Missouri held her hands out. "It won't be pretty. This bond the two of you share is twisted with pain and passion. Are you prepared to do what it takes?"  
"I-"  
"You better be!" Crowley shouted from the next room, "I don't want to have been wasting my time for naught!"  
"Get out of my pantry!" Missouri shouted as River laughed. "I'm working on some supper for all of us before we send this one out!"  
"Thank god! She's been killing my appetite of late!"  
"Come on River." Missouri stood up with a hearty laugh. "Let's scrap a supper together."


	18. Chapter 17: Sleep Tight

"You're not teaching her how to use her powers?"

Crowley's incredulous comment was brought on as they cleaned up. Missouri sighed and shook her head as she cleaned dishes and River dried them.  
"Not until she understands where they really came from."  
"This is a war!"  
"And as long as it will seem to her it won't take more then a couple hours."  
"But-"  
"Crowley. I could teach her about telekinesis now. But when she wakes up after meeting Walker, what do you think happens?"

Crowley shut up now and they finished.  
"River honey, I prepared a cot for you..." Missouri started.  
"I like the sofa."

Missouri paused as Crowley laughed.  
"I could rarely get her off mine. She buried herself in cushions one time and I thought she was missing."  
"Fair enough." She sighed. "Do you have a robe or something you could rare? If you start to heat up while you're in the dreamscape I need to be able to cool you off."  
"Alright." River darted to the bathroom with her bag-she knew just the thing.

It seemed like so long ago when she'd woken up from the freezing sleep and Inara had lent her the long yellow robe. At some point it became River's and Inara didn't mind. It made sense, River thought, since Inara didn't need clothing all the time in her occupation.  
"You done yet?" Crowley's voice came from the door. "We heard running water!" This was followed by a /smack/ and an "Ow!"  
"Leave the girl alone, she probably just grabbed a shower!" Missouri voiced.

River smiled as she put her underthings back on, pulling the robe over them. She had decided to shower, to be clean before going into the deepest regions of her soul. Slipping into a pair of straw sandals, she stepped out.  
"I'm ready."

Various candles were strewn on the table in front of the sofa. Assorted items were there as well, though River didn't understand them. One was a silver six pointed star reading 'sheriff'. The next item was Crowley's hat. Some bullet casings stood beside it. What stuck River as oddest was a headband with plumed feather on it. It almost seemed...familiar.  
"Are you ready?"

Missouri's question pulled River back to reality. She nodded once as Missouri held her hands out, palms down.  
"Put your hands under mine. Our palms need to face."  
"Mhm."  
"Okay. Focus. Shut your eyes. Imagine. The smell of liquor and tobacco. Piano music is playing. You're with another girl on stage. You're both dancing. Leg up, leg down, repeat. A man in a white cowboy hat enters the saloon. Your eyes meet his. They're hazel. You've met before..."

And River dreamed.


	19. Chapter 18: Sweet Dreams

(Author's note: Been playing with photoshop. If anyone wants like unofficial cover art or such, message me)

* * *

It was a dry heat River stirred in. Why was she waking? She hadn't learned anything yet. Someone behind her grunted and an arm curled around her.

River rolled on her side and smiled lightly. Under the sheet with her was the unmistakable Sam.  
"Hi." She whispered. He smiled and opened his eyes.  
"Hey."

It took a moment for her to understand what was happening. It occurred to him at the same time.  
_River? Why is she...why are we...oh my god!_ Then he started yelling and she started screaming. They scrambled off opposite ends of the bed and she was on the floor, holding the mattress as she peeked over it. Sam was holding a sheet around his lower half as he held his head. They paused for a moment as River pulled a cover around herself. Then they resumed yelling.

They were only silenced by the door bursting open as an older woman with brown hair burst in. She was dressed in a white shirt with long sleeves, a vest, denim pants, and a bow tie. Through her random thoughts River made out she was a barkeeper and the blonde girl behind her was her daughter. And the barkeeper had a shot gun.

"What in the Hell are you yelling about?" The brunette exclaimed as Sam stared at her.  
"Ellen?"  
"Were you hitting the bottle a little too hard Sheriff?" She raised an eyebrow. "I'm Collene. You know. I own the whole saloon. Rowena over there works as one the dancers with my daughter Jean."

River read a stray thought of Sam. It was about Jean. _Jo?_  
"Way you two were hollering we thought a wendingo got it." Jean pointed out.  
"Sheriff...?" River glanced at Sam as everything processed in her mind.

Collene raised an eyebrow as Jean snorted.  
"Sheriff Samuel Colt? He's been courting you for some time. Must have been some night you two had."  
"Jean!"  
"What? Neither of them remembers shit about anything and they both have those pentagram tattoos. I'd say they screwed each others' brains out."

Sam was blushing. River was confused. Collene face palmed and began pulling her daughter out of the room.  
"We'll let you two get decent."

As soon as the door shut Sam looked to River.  
"What is going on?"  
"Missouri put me in a slumber so I would recall...memories of my soul."  
"A past life?" Sam exclaimed. "Why am I here then?"  
"Well I think this is your past life and..." River exhaled. "Crowley said something like this might happen. Because of our connection."  
"How does it end?"  
"I don't know." River exhaled. "I need to see something, apparently."  
"So we're stuck here?"  
"Best make the best of it." River smiled weakly, "You're the famous Samuel Colt."  
"And you're a saloon dancer named Rowena."  
"Who you've been courting."  
"That explains waking up together."  
"Right. Sam?" River tilted her head.  
"Yeah?"  
"What does 'screwed each others' brains out' mean? It doesn't make sense. 'Screw' is a noun. It refers to a small threaded piece of metal. How can it be used as a verb?"

Sam placed his face in his palm as he shook his head.  
"We should get dressed. I think these are yours..." He held up a corset and frilled skirt.  
"And yours." River held up what she believed to be pants without backs. Sam chuckled for a moment.  
"Chaps. But where are my pants?"

River's face showed her confusion. Sam sat at the edge of the bed and exhaled.  
"Chaps go over normal pants. They make horseback riding easier."  
"Horses?" River looked up hopefully.

Sam laughed and paused for a moment.  
"So did we go back in time or deep into our minds?"  
"Why do you ask?" River dropped the sheet, not understanding modesty. She'd been repeating his actions earlier. Sam flipped around in response to her actions.  
"I can't hear him."

River had pulled on most of the ridiculous dress, but now she paused.  
"You mean Lucifer?"  
"I mean." Sam nodded once. River beamed and faced him as she pulled on her plumed headband.  
"I can live with this reality for a while."


	20. Chapter 19: Doctor in the House

(Author's Note: I did not create 'human' Crowley. He is the antagonist Charles Walker from Medium. I am tweaking his story is all.)

* * *

River was uneasy at first as she helped Collene and Jean clean up the saloon. Sam had gone back to the jail that doubled as the sheriff's residence. But the uneasiness passed as she began to talk with Jean. She wasn't worried about learning the dance moves. River had always loved to and it came naturally.

"And so as mom is telling me no, she spent the night alone, down the stairs comes the local blacksmith, Birch, half naked!" Jean waved her arms.  
"He was drunk off his ass and I didn't want him getting possessed because I sent him away!" Collene exclaimed.  
"Sure that's what happened." Jean rolled her eyes as Collene poured them a round of drinks.  
"Birch could barely walk," The barkeeper stated, "Much less satisfy a woman."

They all burst into laughter, River starting to understand from their thoughts. The doors swung open and she turned as a man in an old style suit entered. River blinked for a moment as he sat at the bar and Collene moved to get him a drink.  
"Crowley...?" She whispered, moving closer to listen in.

"What brings a man like you all the way out here?" Collene asked as she poured him a brandy.  
"Well I hear this town doesn't have a doctor."  
"Are you one?"  
"Dr Charles Walker." He held out his hand to shake hers.  
"Nice to meet you. We don't get many people out here and we're all pretty private. Most of us don't trust outsiders, especially with our wounds."  
"Doctor patient confidentiality." He smirked lightly. "I also intend to meet up with a lady friend later on."  
"Good for you. When do we expect her?"  
"Oh, my lily will be here soon enough." He stated.

_So that's Walker. Why was Crowley so afraid of me meeting him?_

"River! I mean Rowena!"

River turned and a flush entered her cheeks. Leather chaps suited Sam, and due to the heat his white shirt was sweat soaked and stuck to him. Additionally they'd sorted out the vest and beige hat were his.  
"What do you need Sheriff?" Jean called out as Walker spun on his stool.  
"I need Rowena's help for a few, if you can spare her..." Sam stated. Collene waved her arm.  
"Get going Rowena. Lover boy calls."

River ducked out as Sam blushed before heading for a horse nearby.  
"Can you ride?" Sam asked, "Or at least hold on?"  
"I can hold on if you don't fall off. Sam, what's wrong?"

His mind was all kinds of chaos. River couldn't sort out any of it. Sam exhaled and faced her.  
"The criminal in a jail cell...River, it's Dean."


	21. Chapter 20: A Boy And His Car

It was Dean.

In reality River knew it couldn't be, but the resemblance was uncanny. A black hat covered his eyes and his black jacket had been used as a pillow. His attire otherwise was jeans, a red vest, and the boots River had been seeing everywhere.

"What's he in for?" River whispered.  
"Drunk and disorderly conduct with a count of indecent exposure." Sam replied. "He claimed he has a friend coming in to pay fees and talk him out..."  
"Bit more then a friend, Sheriff."

River turned to where Dean-had Crowley said his name this time was Daniel?-stood behind the bars.  
"Dad would be so proud of you right now." His statement was directed at Sam. River's eyebrows went up as she realized they were still brothers. Daniel continued nonetheless. "Demon hunter. Sheriff. He's still pissed at me about running off with Impala."  
"Impala?" River jumped before Sam.  
"That would be me."

A young native american woman entered now, wearing a pair of hyde pants, moccasins, and an over the shoulder top. Her black hair was braided with feathers stuck in it.  
"As unhappy as Daniel's father was about him eloping with a savage woman, my entire tribe turned me out for marrying a white man. I'm here to pay his fines."

As Sam spoke with Impala, River saw her faces. The angel who'd called to her. The car she'd sat in briefly.

_A friend._

River blinked as she tried to call on the thought, the memory tugging at the edges of her mind. It was gone as Impala and Daniel embraced.  
"Just us against the world." He stated. Impala nodded again and grinned.  
"Just us."

As they walked out Sam smiled lightly.  
"I knew he was damn close to that car."  
"It's romantic how despite being alone they have each other." River added.  
"Yeah..." Sam paused. "Do you hear something?"

River paused and nodded. It was a scream.


	22. Chapter 21: Damsel in Distress

They were back on the horse. River was holding onto Sam as they rode toward the source of the scream. River nearly threw up when they found it.

A young red haired woman in a white dress was being dragged through the desert, tied to a horse. It had to have been running for a black dress because a lot of her skin had was red or bleeding or bruised. Sam acted fast, gun out before River caught the thought. His aim was dead on, breaking the rope. The horse ran even faster, startled, but the girl stopped moving.  
"Is she..." Sam dropped from the horse.  
"Light thought patterns. She's in a lot of pain..." River slinked off the horse as well, backing up. The girl was in enough pain it hurt for her to be too close. "You need to get her to Collene."  
"What about you?" Sam glanced at River as he scooped up the red head.  
"The horse can only take two. I can't ride on my own. She's in no condition to. I...can feel her pain." River whispered. Sam paused and nodded slowly.  
"I'll see you in town."

River returned to the saloon to hear yelling. Jean was at the bar, putting the alcoholic beverages on the counter. She looked up as River sat next to her.  
"Sheriff, Ma, Walker, and Birch are upstairs mending her."  
"I figured. Alcohol to clean the wounds?"  
"When they run out."

Jean exhaled as she leaned against the counter.  
"In all this I don't have time to talk to ma about my weird dreams."  
"Dreams?" River looked up.  
"Yeah." Jean sighed. "Marble castles. Feathers. Swords. Tears."

River stared at Jean for a moment. Sam said in the next life she was Jo. But she seemed familiar. Comforting. A sensation of flying. River gasped lightly.  
"Serenity."

Jean didn't hear her, probably paying attention to Sam coming down the stairs.  
"Scarlet's stable."  
"Scarlet?" River lifted her head as Sam sat next to her. The yelling had stopped.  
"Dr Walker said he wants to do a check up in a fortnight. He's cleaning up his tools and talking with Birch. Collene is cleaning her up and getting her dressed. Her name is Scarlet. She just told us."  
"Any idea what happened to her?" Jean asked.  
"She said a bandit." Sam replied.  
"I'm sure we can find a place for her in town until she's okay. She can probably help ma at the bar when Rowena and I are dancing."

River was caught elsewhere as she turned. Walker was exiting but an odd thought left his mind.

_She's a beautiful bleeder._


	23. Chapter 22: Taming the Sh, ah, Badger

River wasn't sure why she didn't like Scarlet. The girl had healed up, her skin a bit pink, but healed.

Maybe it was that Sam kept an eye on her while she recovered. But River couldn't imagine why it bothered her. But she was lonely without Sam's company. That was how she wound up on the doorstep of Doctor Charles Walker. River knocked a couple times before he answered.  
"Rowena? How can I help you?"  
"I need to talk to someone." She whispered. Walker paused and exhaled before stepping out.  
"Get in the wagon. I need to stop at the trading post for some supplies.

* * *

"It sounds like you're jealous."

River blinked as they walked through the market. There was a trading post not far off and they were browsing the wares.  
"Huh?"  
"Way I hear it the Sheriff was courting you." He replied, looking over a vase.  
"Yeah." River nodded. Jean had poked fun at her over it. _Jean...Serenity...?_  
"So he focused a lot of attention on you. See, he rescued Miss Scarlet. They have a special bond now. There's a special name for it, but I can't recall it. Some sort of complex. He saved her. So now you have to compete with that bond. Hey, you're a girl." Walker held out the vase. "Think my lady friend would like this?"  
"It's cracked and could break." River shook her head.  
"Drat." Walker shook his head.  
"What's she like?" River asked and Walker's face softened.  
"Wonderful woman. Pulled me out of the dark when my wife died. She has a complicated past, hopes to overthrow a corrupt power..."  
"This." River plucked up a knife in a leather sheath. It felt familiar when she pulled it out to discover carvings. It was the knife she got from Badger in the distant future.

Walker took it from her and chuckled.  
"Yeah, she might just like this."  
"What's Jealous mean?" River asked. Walker raised an eyebrow as he paid for the knife.  
"It means you want something someone else has. In this case, Sheriff Colt's affection and or attention."  
"Affection?" River flushed and Walker laughed.  
"Seems I'm right."

River paused and stared across his shoulder. She moved by now, causing Walker to groan and run after her.  
_There it is!_ River thought as she left money for the bowler hat. Walker raised an eyebrow as he approached.  
"Doesn't really suit you lass."  
"It's not for me." River held it out. "A gift. For hearing me out."

Walker paused and River saw shades of Crowley.  
"Why thank you." He grinned as he took it and wore it. "Suit me?" He asked. River grinned.  
"Like a proper Badger."


	24. Chapter 23: Six of Seven

River was surprised to find Sam waiting for her outside the saloon that night.  
"Where were you?" He looked up, holding half a glass of whiskey.  
"I was talking with Walker." River stated. She didn't understand drinking.  
"Why?" It was almost slurred.  
"Why not?"  
"He's a demon."  
"Not yet." River pointed out.  
"These are memories. You can't change things." Sam muttered. "He becomes Crowley."  
"And if he didn't I'd probably not be able to do what I need to, as Crowley taught me a good deal." River didn't understand how it could make him angry, but it did.  
"Did he?" Sam placed a hand on her shoulder. "Like what?"  
"How to stop Hell Hounds, properties of salt...Sam, you're hurting me." River whispered. His grip was tightening. Sam's mind made no sense. Rage. Envy. Lust. Greed. Pride. Gluttony. He'd committed six of the seven deadly sins, or at least thought about them. When Scarlet approached, River didn't realize where to two blue gloved hands between them had come from. But fear  
burst out of her as she pushed her away.  
"Two by two, hands of blue!" River cries out, grabbing her head as she backed up. Scarlet has fallen into a table and Sam was helping her. Jean  
was trying to comfort River, to calm her down. Collene had cocked her rifle.  
"What the Hell just happened?"  
"I came to check on them..."  
"I'm going to take Rowena upstairs." Jean stated, cutting off Scarlet's explanation. Sam was still more then River could translate, but a new thought about her slipped out. Fear. _What is she?_

And River fled to her room crying.


	25. Chapter 25: River's Tale

The sun was high in the sky when Collene entered River's room. _No, it's Rowena's room._ River reminded herself as the barkeeper sat beside her on the bed. River was curled up under the sheet.  
"Rowena, sweetie, the sheriff called on you. I wouldn't let him come upstairs. Jeans keeping him at the door."  
"I don't wanna see him." River muttered, though she could hardly explain why. Sam had his questions about River, about if she was even human. _What else could I be? How dare he!_  
"Rowena, do you love the sheriff?"  
"What?" River jerked her head up. Collene exhaled and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"If you're serious about the sheriff, you need to remind him."  
"But he has Scarlet." River muttered. Walker was right. She was a bit jealous.  
"Scarlet is with Doctor Walker for her check up." Collene stated. "Now is the best time to talk to him."  


* * *

Now River sat across a desk from Sam and neither of them had said anything.  
"Last night I got drunk..." Sam began.  
"And you questioned _what_ I was. You thought it loud and clear." River whispered.  
"I was drunk. The frail looking girl I've known freaked out and pushed Scarlet into a table a good three yards away. I didn't know what to think.  
"I'm human. Telepathic. But human."  
"How? You're different but I don't know how you got that way." Sam stated. "You probably know about Azazel's drops of demon blood..."  
"And how you drank Ruby's blood for power."

River hadn't meant to be so cold toward him. She was just angry at him. Sam's face fell as he looked down.  
"I just wanted to know about you. More about how you got the way you are..."  
"The Academy." River whispered. Sam looked up.  
"Oh?"  
"I'm kind of a genius." River began, "And I excelled at everything. I graduated numerous college programs by the time I was fourteen." A smile played upon her lips. "I loved dancing the best." The smile vanished. "My parents didn't know what to do with me. Then I found out about the academy. It had an amazing program listed...but when I got there the reality was horrible." Images of needles flashed through River's mind as she continued. "They experimented on us. They poked, prodded, and conditioned us. I was special. So they removed my frontal lobe. For months I could hear everything. What people said or thought, the residuals left on pieces of art by their creator. I couldn't shut it off. I heard a big secret...and I didn't even know. It bounced around in my brain for months before showing itself. That's why I am the way I am. I was conditioned to be a Swiss army knife."  
"I'm sorry."  
"You didn't do it."  
"For thinking of you as other then human."  
River became acutely aware that they'd moved closer as Sam placed his hand on hers. His mind was clear-he regretted thinking it, leaving her alone this whole time, and making her sad. River used the hand he was touching to lift his chin, not wanting to break the contact.  
"Apology accepted."

Sam hugged her then, catching her a bit off guard. But River liked the feel of it so she returned the hug.  
"Why are you going through all this for me?" Sam whispered.  
"Something about Tag." River replied, recalling Missouri's words that felt like a lifetime ago.  
"Eh?"  
"Nevermind. It's just once I knew about it I couldn't not come."

Sam smiled lightly as he let go of River.  
"Why couldn't I have met you before all this?"  
"You had a girlfriend."

River realized after she said it he might react badly. It was a big deal, afterall. She opened her mouth to apologize.

Then Sam kissed her.


	26. Chapter 23: Whats in a Name?

"Hello? Sheriff? You in?"  
"We're here!"

Sam and River shot up as the woman entered. She raised an eyebrow as River lifted her dress strap back up her shoulder.  
"If I'm interrupting something I can go outside..."  
"No!" River and Sam both exclaimed.  
"You prefer I stay and watch? I can do that, if that's what you like."  
"Who are you," Sam exclaimed as River flushed, "and why are you here?"

The woman was older the them, though not by much in Sam's case. She was dressed in a rust colored duster, her blonde hair caked in dirt. She wore jeans and a leather vest, a grey hat atop her head. Guns were on her belt, and a knife. A belt of bullets was over her shoulder. Something about her, her amused face, seemed familiar to River.  
"I'm a bounty hunter..." She stated, "They call me Vera."

River burst into hysterics now. Sam and Vera eyed her, him with confusion and her with suspicion.  
"She's-he calls her-" She kept laughing. How many of the things she knew used to people?

Sam faced Vera as River calmed down.  
"A bounty hunter? What brings you down this way?"  
"I've been on the trail of a murdered. One Doctor Charles Walker." Vera stated.  
"Walker?" River whispered.  
"The doctor came to town about a month ago." Sam raised an eyebrow. "He hasn't caused any trouble. You sure you got the right guy?"  
"Have any young ladies gone missing? He's made a habit of cutting them up." Vera replied. River's eyes went wide as Sam's jaw dropped a little.  
"He's got Scarlet now."

"Drop the knife right now Walker!"  
Vera had pulled her gun as Sam knocked the door in. River fell to her knees, sick to her stomach at the scene.

Blood was everywhere. Scarlet was tied to a table and she was the source. Her wrists and ankles were tied to the corners and the red head was whimpering. Walker lifted his arms, the knife clattering to the ground as his blood coated hands.  
"You caught me Sheriff..."

He turned slowly and River read an odd thought pattern.  
_Just as my flower asked._ Then his face fell. _What the hell is Rowena doing here? She wasn't supposed to see this..._

Before River could question him Sam charged and tackled him. Vera groaned as she put her gun away.  
"Men! You-Raziel-" She waved her arm, "Untie the girl, if you can."  
"How do you know that name?" River whispered, rising on shaking legs.  
"What name?" Vera didn't seem to notice what the problem was.  
"_Raziel_."

Vera froze in place.  
"Shit. I really screwed up now..."  
"What do you know?" River exclaimed.  
"I'll tell you later. With Serenity." Vera hissed. "Now help me out."


	27. Chapter 26: Friends and Enemies

Getting away wasn't hard. Sam was helping Collene tend to Scarlet, so River didn't have to explain where she was going. Jean was walking with her outside of town.  
"So why did Vera summon us?"  
"There's stuff we have to know." River replied.

Their destination revealed itself as a teepee. Impala and Vera were within, arguing next to a fire.  
"I knew we shouldn't have involved a _Cherubim_!" Impala shouted.  
"You needed _someone_ to cover Raziel's actions so Zachariah wouldn't notice! And _she_ trusts me!"  
"_I_ don't!"  
"We're here." River cut off their argument.

Vera and Impala turned as Jean and River entered.  
"So. We owe you a tale." Impala stated.  
"I just want some answers." River whispered. "Who was Raziel? Do you all know her?"  
"Yes." Impala sighed. "Sit down. It's story time."

"You know about Lucifer's rebellion, right?" Vera asked.  
"He rebelled against god and was cast into damnation." Jean stated.  
"In Heaven it was a lot of politics. There were a lot of 'codes of behavior'. Only four angels had ever seen God-Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, and Uriel. No one was allowed to seek him out and ask questions. A major 'code'..." Vera exhaled, "Was that Angels were not to pair. They could become humans and then pair, but it was forbidden for Angels to. It was considered population control-like Heaven wasn't infinite."  
"Nor were we expected to interact in anyway with humans."  
"Hell, Lilith was the origin of 'Hell Hath no Fury like a woman scorned.'"

Vera took a swig of a flask and sighed.  
"I was a higher rank of Angel, a Cherubim. Raziel was my friend, a Watcher who gave me insight to the world. Impala and Serenity were her friends, they didn't trust me." She began, casting a look at Impala.  
"Isn't her name Impala?" Jean asked.  
"After I met Daniel's brother I started having dreams of my past life, clearer since I met Rowena. I'm sure you have as well, _Serenity_. I went to see a shaman to help me fill in the gaps."

River recalled her conversation with Jean earlier. Jean's mouth dropped a little bit as Vera continued her story.

"Sammael...wasn't anything special. He was an Angel, a soldier of God. But he and Raziel had something special. I'd call them soulmates. When the war happened...Sammael left. He wanted to freely love her in the open. But Lucifer lost. And many of the angels who worked under him were sent into the soul cycle as humans, forced to live miserable lives. Raziel mourned his loss..."  
"We all felt the pain for her." Impala whispered.  
"So she had us make a promise. Every time he is reincarnated we watch over him somehow. Raziel would slip herself into a human form-like you Rowena-and I'd cover her butt." Vera exhaled. "I wanna think this will be the last time, but I doubt it."

River wanted to ask about the future, what happened then, why she wasn't with Sam, but she couldn't figure out how to word it.  
"I should go." She finally stated and stood up.  
"How do you plan to break it to him?" Impala asked. "Daniel still doesn't believe me."  
"...because the cycle doesn't break for centuries."  


* * *

  
"Hi."

Walker looked up from within his cell as River approached. The bowler hat sat on a desk.  
"Why did you care if I saw?" She asked. He exhaled and looked up for a moment.  
"I don't completely know. Maybe it's because you became friendly with me. Hell, I didn't even think about slicing you."  
"It's true then."  
"You saw me cutting up Scarlet."  
"Just as your flower wanted."

His eyebrows shot up and he stood to face her.  
"How did you know that?"  
"I can read minds." River stated.  
"...so you're the Angel they figured be around..."  
"So I've been told."

River glanced at the desk and paused.  
"I thought you sliced people with scalpels, posing as a doctor and all." She whispered.  
"What of it?" Walker replied. River picked up the knife and pulled it from it's sheath.  
"Then why did you need an anti-demon blade to hurt her?"  
"God damn you're quick " Walker hissed. Unlike his future form, he couldn't block her. _All we need is for her to figure out the wench is the witch that stole him from her before..._

River dropped the knife with a gasp.  
"Ruby."


	28. Chapter 27: Lines in the Sand

River knew why she did it-she wasn't thinking. Walker was running after her.  
"Rowena, this might not be wise!"

She'd let him out. The knife was in her hand. It was dusk, she could faintly hear horses in the distance. They were at the end of the hall, waiting.

River had read about Ruby's manipulation of Sam in the future. If she could take her out now, that would all change.  
"I don't really think this is the Ruby you want..." Walker began.  
"Demonic wench, works for Lilith, your flower...?" She paused. "Were you the one who tied Scarlet to the horse?"  
"Nah, that was probably Lil...shit. How do you know all this?"  
"You're broadcasting loud and clear." River stated. She held out her hand to silence him as the door opened. Sam stepped out, beginning to walk down the hall, and River's heart fell. His hair was messy like that first morning they woke up side by side.  
"Girl?" Walker gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Do you love him?"

River shut her eyes. What was love? A chemical reaction? Physical attraction? What did she feel toward Sam? It was so much more then those things.

"Give me the knife, Rowena."  
"What?" She faced Walker.  
"Earlier was a con to make Sam have his rescue thing again. We both work for Lilith. She has no reason to expect me to attack her. I know where to kill her, I know how to fight her, and I owe you. I can finish her." He stated. River bit her lip, but she nodded and handed it to him.  
"Guard the door." Walker stated before slipping inside and closing the door behind him.

River listened in quietly.  
"How's it going?"  
"I've won him over." A pause. "How'd you get out of the cell? Lilith isn't here yet."  
"An Angel helped me."  
"An Ang-what are you holding?"

There was a struggle. Furniture fell. Followed by Scarlet screaming.

_Go-Seh!_ River saw Sam run toward the door.  
"Sam, listen to me-" River exclaimed.  
"Did you let him out?" Sam shouted.  
"Sam, just listen-"  
"Did you let out a murderer?" He wasn't hearing her. Concern for the red temptress inside filled his mind. River glared up at him.  
"Yes."

Scarlet screamed again and Sam pushed River down. She yelped as she hit the floor and watched Sam pull Walker off the bleeding Scarlet. He was shouting now, but it was blind rage as he tossed Walker into a closet. The knife was in his hand as he approached.  
"No!" River screeched, scrambling to her feet as she charged between them. She tossed her arms out as she faced Sam.  
"He was doing it for me!"

Sam's eyes went wide as the rage in his mind turned to disgust.  
"It's not jealousy, Sam! She's-"  
"Get out." Sam's voice was void of emotion.  
"What?" River's heart sunk.  
"Get out. Take him with you. Leave town."  
"Sam-"  
"I never want to see you again."

Over Sam's shoulder Scarlet was smirking. River began to tremble, rage building up. Walker placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"Quit while you're ahead girl. If we keep this up the only corpses will be us."  
"Sam..." River whispered, reaching out slowly. But Scarlet had draped herself around him, and as Walker led her out her eyes flashed black.


	29. Chapter 28: Rowena's Fate

They were a short distance from town, and Walker was trying to start a fire. Once River had asked to be a stone. Now she felt like one. Walker gave up on the fire and swore.  
"I forgot my hat."

River broke down then. He lost the hat. He wouldn't get it back until she brought it to him. Which meant history still occurred as it did.  
"It's a hat!" Walker exclaimed as he moved next to her. "I'll live!"

River couldn't help but laugh.  
"That's not it at all..." She paused, hearing a horse. They both turned as Impala climbed down.  
"Major demon heading for town." She stated, "Flash flood, dirt devils, sand storms. You name it. Vera and Serenity went ahead..."  
"Lilith." River jumped to her feet.  
"Walker, I'm really sorry! I don't expect you to fight my battle!" With that she jumped on the horse. Impala grinned as she hopped on the front.  
"That's that Raziel I know!"

* * *

The saloon was shaking. Scarlet was behind the bar and Jean was trying to pull Sam off Vera.  
"Let me at her!" Vera shouted. "I'll settle with an ear!"  
"That's the Temptress from before?" Impala locked eyes on Scarlet and whipped out a knife. "My people have a method for dealing with people we don't like, and her pretty red hair will make a great scalp!"  
"Sister-in-law or not," Sam hissed. "Stay back."

A gun shot silenced all of them and River flipped around. _Bobby...?_  
"What in the Sam Hill are you all doing? Did you idjits miss the demonic omens! It's a good thing Collene came to get me or you'd be arguing when it got here!"

No. This was Birch.  
"Maybe if everyone wasn't trying to kill me..." Scarlet began.  
"Maybe if you weren't a hellish Harlot-" Vera snapped.  
"Because Jean and Rowena aren't saloon girls!"  
"Why you-"

A crack of thunder as all the candles went out and the doors burst open made them shut them up. A woman in a black dress and blonde hair entered and smiled as her eyes went white.  
"Which one of you is Raziel?"  
"Lilith!"

Attention was at the door again as Walker burst in. Lilith's face lit up as she walked to him.  
"Lover. You've done well."  
"Have I earned a reward?"  
"I suppose you have. Right now  
isn't the time..."  
"Rowena lives."

Silence from all directions. Sam was glaring at River, who still didn't get his...jealousy? Lilith spoke before she could work it out.  
"You should have spoken to me sooner."  
"Why?"  
"Her life was already pleaded for. It is forfeit."  
"No!" Walker pushed past her. "Rowena! Look out!"

Scarlet hadn't let out a single thought as she got behind River. River flipped around and faced her as she ran the knife into her gut.

"Rowena!" Walker, Collene, and Birch shouted as Scarlet twisted the blade.  
"Raziel!" Vera, Impala, and Jean cried as the demon pulled out the blade.  
"_River_!" Sam shouted as he ran to her.

She fell into his arms as he fell to his knees.  
"River, no, I-I should have-I'm sorry-River!" He sobbed. She wanted to forgive him, but life was leaving her too fast and she had to tell him. River reached up and tugged him down by the collar so his ear next to her lips, her breath a single word and warning.  
"**Ruby**."


	30. Chapter 29: The Angel You Don't Know

River jerked awake screaming as she grabbed her gut.  
"Calm down girl!" Crowley dropped next to her. "You're back! It's done!"

River paused for a moment before collapsing against him sobbing. Crowley sighed and patted her on the back.  
"I'm sorry you had to see that." He whispered.  
"Thank you..." River whispered as Missouri came in with a pot of tea. Crowley raised an eyebrow.  
"We sent you back to the old west. Where you lost Sam and your life to Ruby. Why are you thanking me?"  
"You tried to help me then." River let go of him as she sat on the sofa. "You were my friend and you tried to save me."  
"It wasn't enough." Crowley murmured as Missouri handed out the cups. River paused and jerked her head up.  
"Sam! He's still back there!" She exclaimed. Missouri raised her eyebrow.  
"_Our_ Sam? Your mental link is strong. He was there the whole time?" She asked. River nodded once.  
"What will happen to him?"  
"He'll relive the rest of Samuel Colt's life."

River shut her eyes and took a cup with a shaking hand.  
"What happened after Rowena died?"  
"Collene, Jean, and Birch managed to chase out Lilith, Ruby, and myself." Crowley began. "Daniel came looking for Impala and helped his brother deal with the grieving. Vera handled the memorial arrangements. Ruby tried to come back, but whatever Rowena said to Colt as she died warned him about her. He began to make guns, and it all started with the Colt. After that he worked to make a Hell's Gate and trap Ruby and Lilith inside." Crowley crossed his arms. "I was able to speak with him toward the end, as he built a pentagram of railroad tracks around the gate. He wanted the ground hallowed on top of it, tombs to hide the gate. Colt asked me, if I was around when you got reincarnated to keep an eye on you. He asked like I wasn't going to anyway." Crowley exhaled. "In return I asked he end me so I could go to Hell, become a Demon, spend time with Lilith, and watch over you when you came back."  
"Sam's going to relive all of that?" River whispered.  
"Every last ounce of guilt. You prevented them then, prevented them from using him as Lucifer's meat suit."  
"Why him every time?" She exclaimed.  
"And where was I this time? How long before I can dream with him again?"  
"Easy! You just got back from a past life viewing!" Missouri placed a hand on her shoulder. "That takes a lot of spirit."  
"Since we didn't send him personally..." Crowley exhaled. "He may be absent for twenty-four hours!"  
"While he's gone Lucifer has no one able to stop him!" River leaped to her feet. "I need to find him before he finds Dean and Ben and Lisa!"  
"How?" Crowley retorted.  
"Ah..." River dug through her bag. "I get help."  
"You've lost me."  
"The Prophet Chuck replicated John Winchester's journal for his fan market. It's on the E-Reader you gave me..."  
"John's dead." Crowley pointed out.  
"There was a symbol..." River pulled out the device and began to skim.  
"He was a hunter. I suspect there are a lot of those."  
"I intend..." River began to copy the symbol an incantation, causing Crowley's eyebrows to lift. "To summon the Angel of Thursday."


	31. Chapter 30: Guilt is A Powerful Motive

(Author's Note: So if I haven't finished by the time the new season starts, I'll probably make a note in the description. Furthermore, I have now drawn a kind of cover art!)

* * *

"I don't think this is a good idea."

River ignored Crowley as he said it for the hundredth time since she began drawing the symbol is Missouri's parking lot.  
"You could go inside. Besides, you both recruit me in the future."  
"Jesus Freaking Christ, how bad is your future?"  
"Ask me about Reavers later." River stood up after filling a copper bowl with various herbs Missouri had helped her select. "You staying or going?" She added, lighting a match.  
"I vowed to keep an eye on you girl."  
"Okay then." River replied, tossing it into the bowl.

"I don't care what happened-Prophets do not just vanish off the radar..." Castiel paused as he appeared in the parking lot. He still wore his trench coat, but he looked disheveled. His  
scruff had spread out on his chin, his tie was lose, and his shirt had lost a few buttons.  
"Where am I..." He paused, seeing Crowley. "Is this a trap?"  
"I was against summoning you actually." The demon replied.  
"Then who-" Castiel began.  
"Where can I find Lucifer?"

Somehow he'd missed River standing there wearing her pink and red dress. At least, he missed her until she yelled out.  
"Raziel?" He asked, confusion crossing his face.  
"So I've been told."  
"But you're in Heaven-you've put a movement to make Vera an Archangel..."  
"Presently." River folded her arms. "I'm from the future. My name is River Tam. Impala and Serenity opened a channel between Sam and my mind. Where is Lucifer?"  
"You couldn't use your own time travel as a human...Serenity and Impala are on probation. Who sent you back in time?" Castiel asked.  
"You did." River stated. He raised an eyebrow.  
"Why?"  
"Same reason you work with future  
me." Crowley stepped forward. "Guilt, I imagine."  
"We work together in the future?"  
"Apparently."  
"I refuse to accept that." Castiel stated.  
"Then help me change it!" River exclaimed. "Where is Lucifer?"

Castiel glanced at her and exhaled.  
"Vera is keeping him at bay."


	32. Chapter 31: River Tam and the Devil

River had never had more adrenaline in her system then when they raced to Lisa's house that day. They didn't actually go all the way though, for it seemed Vera had cut off Lucifer on the way there.

She looked different. Her hair was cut in a round style around her face and it seemed she'd lost her eye at some point, for on one side of her face was an eye patch. Vera was wearing tactical gear, blocking an attack from Lucifer.

Despite him wearing Sam's body, River knew it wasn't. Sam was still in his forgotten memories while Lucifer tried to slay Dean's loved ones.

He was distracted, his fight with Vera consuming his attention. Castiel was focused on Crowley, who'd begun to hurl after the angel teleported them. No one was paying attention to River.

She ran forward, calculating trajectory in seconds. All that was in her mind was numbers, not her surroundings.

Lucifer was caught of guard, but so was Vera. Her one eye went wide as she watched the struggle. River barely had time to think before she blacked out.

* * *

The Devil was not what River had been expecting.

They stood in a memory-Lucifer's, she believed-of a marble hall. He looked a touch scruffy, and his eyes only showed the Angel. The Vessel's soul that had once existed was gone. He wore a tee shirt under an unbuttoned shirt and jeans. He faced her for a moment and shook his head.  
"Poor pitiful Raziel. This isn't even the present you."  
"Why am I pitiful?" She replied as if it was her name.  
"Because you continue to chase Sammael." Lucifer crossed his arms. "Years ago he swore to serve me."  
"Excuse me?" River's eyes went wide. "Sam would never have-"  
"I didn't say Sam. I said Sammael." Lucifer held up a hand. "You don't know all there is to know yet."  
"I don't have to to know you're actions are wrong."  
"He swore to serve me, whether he remembers in this life or not."  
"This is the life you're trying to control and stain with blood." River retorted. "So I'd say it matters."  
"You don't get it do you?" Lucifer chuckled. "What is your plan to defeat me?"  
"With my brain. Once I train. Ha. I made a rhyme." River smiled as Lucifer shook his head.  
"Sam and I are bound now. Unless you have a way to extract me-something I highly doubt seeing as he said yes-anything you do to me, you would do to him." He grinned. "Or more importantly, to affect me, you must commit that action against my vessel."  
"You lie!" River exclaimed.  
"In the mindscape? It's impossibe." Lucifer scoffed. "But fine. Don't believe me. Find another way. I dare you. But I grant you a warning." He tossed her a red gemstone which she caught clusmily. "if I unite with my bride in this form before you do, Sam's gets snuffed out and the cycle ends once and for all."  
"Pardon?" River whispered. "He's died before-"  
"I'm not saying if he dies." Lucifer replied. "I'm saying if I am still in his body and my bride and I become one, your precious Sam, and all of his past lives, will cease to be in an instant."


	33. Chapter 32: When

"She'll wake up. Give her time."

All River could hear was voices. Her vision was still blurry.

"I thought my part was over!" This obstinate comment sounded like Dean.  
"No one called you in." Crowley replied.  
"My E.M.F. goes off, I'm driving back with _groceries_! Lisa and Ben are-well mostly she is-freaking out and I don't blame them, given Lucifer keeps trying to kill them!"  
"Dean, calm down-" Castiel's voice spoke up.  
"And what's with you? Why aren't you in Heaven? How come you haven't done anything about Lucifer? Why are you helping this crazy girl?"  
"Because-" Vera's voice snapped, "-She is Raziel. She is the one who can save your brother."  
"Who is Raziel?"

Vera turned as River sat up rubbing her eye.  
"A powerful ally and friend." The cherubim knelt next to her. "Are you alright?"  
"Lucifer..." River whispered. "While Sam is reliving a life Lucifer is in complete control."  
"Reliving a-" Dean grasped his forehead. "My head hurts."

Vera cast a glare at Crowley.  
"You had them relive?"  
"Only Rowena and Colt-and we didn't know the boy's mind would get caught in it." Crowley stated.  
"Sammael and Raziel are bound by a red string! While they exist on the same plane of space and time they are connected by there very souls!" Vera snarled.  
"It's not like she's this time's Raziel!"  
"Then when is she from?"

Dean's question reminded them all he was still there. Crowley began swearing in Mandarin as Vera began barking at Castiel in a foreign dialect. River faced Dean and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Centuries in the future where we call this world 'Earth That Was'."


	34. Chapter 33: Fortnight

"Are you sure that's good for him?"

Castiel was asking about Dean. They'd kind of stuffed him in the Impala's trunk after he fainted. Vera was driving, River was shot gun, and Crowley and Castiel were sharing the back seat. The Demon scoffed at Castiel's question.  
"Worried about Lover Boy?"  
"I don't understand."  
"Will you two shut up!" Vera barked. "Crowley. What did you show River?"  
"Rowena's life time. Missouri helped me mind you."  
"Missouri wasn't there! Now, I assume you showed her Rachel's life time?"  
"Ah..."  
"Whose Rachel?" River asked.

Vera shot a glare at Crowley through the rearview mirror.  
"Someone Demon Boy and I failed to protect. The you of this time. You weren't able to encounter Sam. But you still died young. I'd say it be smart to show you a segment before one of Lucifer's loyal does."  
"Like his Bride."

Vera exhaled and glanced at River.  
"She's no longer a variable."  
"Lucifer thinks she is." River shut her eyes. "Normally when I pass out I connect to Sam's mind. Since he's not there I ended up speaking to Lucifer. He said a lot of confusing things and tossed a red stone at me..."  
"Ruby." Vera sighed. "Dead."  
"Ah..." Crowley tried to speak up.  
"He says if he unites with her while controlling Sam, Sam's soul will blink out."  
"Unites or becomes one with? Significant difference." Vera added. "His bride is still dead."  
"Well...that could be temporary."

River was relieved they hadn't been driving when Crowley said this. Vera had flipped around and fury was flooding her mind, overflowing enough that River could read it.

"What do you mean Demon?" She snapped.  
"I mean..." Crowley exhaled. "Lu could use Blood Red Moon ritual."

A dead silence filled the car, but River could read Castiel.

_How could Lucifer use it? There's no recorded success of it working. In order to resurrect a Demon with it, the human casting it would have had to ingest Demon Blood...oh._

"Lucifer is controlling Sam and so he can use the ritual to resurrect Ruby." River stated. Vera exhaled and went back to driving.  
"That's the tip of the Ice Berg. There's also the Demons that Famine sent after him, Lilith's cook..."  
"Lilith?" Crowley asked and River could hear pain twisted with hope.  
"Sam never drank her blood." Vera stated. "I was more worried about Azazel."  
"No." Castiel hissed. "Damn it."  
"He and I have issues from way back." Crowley stated. "Back when I was just a human. He didn't like that Lilith, Lucifer's most devoted follower, favored me."  
"How long do we have?" River asked as they pulled up to Missouri's.  
"It's the second New Moon of a month."

River stared up at the full moon in the sky. When she'd arrived there'd been no moon out.  
"A fortnight."


	35. Chapter 34: Ally

Dean was sitting across the table from River. To his right was Castiel and to River's was Crowley. Vera and Missouri were talking in the kitchen.

"So you're from the future." Dean stated.  
"The year 2518." River nodded.  
"Where the future Castiel and Crowley worked together to send you back in time."  
"Correct."  
"Where my car and your space ship told you about Sam's situation."  
"And Wash." River nodded again.  
"Right. You're dead friend." Dean sighed. "Why you?"  
"I'm a psychic. I'm a warrior."  
"You said you were in an academy. Were there no others?"  
"Not who got away."  
"That's not the reason." Dean stated.  
"No, it isn't."  
"So why you?"  
"Because," Crowley spoke up, "She is Sammy boy's soul mate."

"Eh?" Dean glanced at the demon as River flushed. Castiel exhaled before speaking.  
"A long time ago, two Angels fell in love. But it was forbidden for them to express this. And so when Lucifer declared war, the Angels were separated. She was a Watcher, so she felt obligated to continue watching Man Kind. He was a Guardian-the lowest ranking of Angel. He'd seen crimes committed against man kind. He wanted to be with the one he loved. So he joined the rebellion." Castiel shook his head. "The cost to the Angels who sided with Lucifer was harsh. They would be reincarnated as humans, over and over again. They led long lives-cursed lives. They were never permitted to be happy for long-only long enough so it could be taken away."  
"What's this to do with Sam and River?" Dean asked.  
"The Angels were Raziel and Sammael."

Vera's voice entered the room before her. Dean blinked for a moment.  
"I thought Sammael was another name for the Devil." He stated.  
"The religions screwed up a lot of the story." Vera sat down. "Sammael was tricked, you see. He believed Lucifer was good. Anyway, the trouble is Raziel was just in too much pain away from him. Furthermore she had to watch many of his lives. Angels aren't allowed to directly interfere. Well, she heard Lilith and her allies Azazel and Ruby were plotting against Sammael, to use him to summon Lucifer. Raziel came to me. As a Cherubim, I could approve her request to be born as a Human. When her friends Impala and Serenity found out, they filed requests to be born human as well."

"Rowena, Jean, and Impala." River stated. Vera nodded once as she sighed.  
"She'd affected Sammael's life as Samuel Colt. More then Zachariah would have liked. But he couldn't express that. Impala however-her request was denied. So she went anyway, retaining her identity. The trouble was she took a lover-a human-while knowing she was an Angel. She also tried to change Sammael and Raziel's fate." Vera glanced out the window at the car. "As such, this time she had to watch her lover reborn, always close to him but never able to do more then watch over him-and his brother, Sammael once again."

Dean blinked for a minute.  
"So in a past life...my _car_ and I..."  
"Married." River stated. "She was a Native American."  
"Uh huh. You're all insane." Dean stood up as Missouri marched in.  
"Is that Disbelief?" She snapped.  
"Well, yes!" Dean retorted.  
"Then change your point of view."  
"I can't get my head that far up my ass!"

Castiel spoke now.  
"Dean. You promised Sam you wouldn't try to save him. But you didn't promise not to help someone else save the future."

Dean paused and River new the outcome.  
"I'll call Lisa and tell her I'm occupied for a while."  
"In the meantime..." Vera turned to River. "You have to remember Rachel."


	36. Chapter 35: What Makes a Life

"Is that a volume of _Supernatural_?"

River turned as Dean asked this. Missouri was preparing the ritual again and Vera had been pulling things out of a bag that had 'Belonged to Rachel'. A worn out paperback when two crudely drawn men had been put on the table. If the Impala hadn't been on it River wouldn't have believed it was the same  
series she'd read.  
"_Heart_." Vera stated as she pulled a binder out. "It was her favorite and the last to come out before she got sick. So she read it a lot while she was be bound, even though it always made her cry."  
"What's the binder?" Dean asked.  
"You must remember even though Rachel and Sam never met their souls were interconnected." Vera replied.  
"That doesn't answer-"  
"Smut fanfiction." Crowley interjected. "Not Wincest, thank your choice of deity. Mostly her own self insert who happened to be an Angel."  
"Smut?" River and Castiel both asked. Vera face palmed as Dean started laughing.  
"She was a Sam-Girl!"  
"None the less, this binder and paperback are the closest things Rachel had!" Vera snapped. "If we want River to know what happened, these are the artifacts to use for sending her back!"  
"Okay, okay!" Dean held up his hands. "How do you have these anyway?"  
"I was posing as her roommate to try to protect her." Vera stated.  
"You weren't reborn as a human." Castiel commented.  
"My special bloodline's heir went into a vegetive state. I've been in her ever since."  
"Who lost her eye?" Dean asked.  
"Me, but..." Vera sighed. "Not because I was on the hunt."  
"Eh?"  
"River will find out soon enough."

Missouri entered now.  
"River, it's the same procedure as before."  
"I lay back, you send me back to the scene." River nodded as she laid back on the sofa. Missouri exhaled and held her hands up as River shut her eyes.  
"You're typing at a computer. The smell of cookies fills the air. Despite this, something about the apartment leaves you on edge. On the other hand, sometimes it feels familiar..."


	37. Chapter 36: Rachel, the Sam Girl

River blinked as she looked around. She was sitting on the bed, a laptop on her lap. She had some sort of word processor up. She blinked, glancing at the words.

_She embraced Sam tightly, knowing his grief was great._  
_"Sam, I'm here still. An ear, a shoulder, an embrace, and anything else you need."_  
_"Winter..." He whispered and kissed her. "...why can't I ever see you when I'm happy?"_  
_"As is my role as a Guardian Angel." Winter whispered. "To be here when you need me, never else."_  
_"I need you, Winter."_

River flushed as she continued reading, only stopping when the smoke alarm began to go off. This was followed by yelling as Vera entered the room with a plate of burnt Cookies. She looked different, dressed in a pair of jeans and a turtleneck. What was more, she had both her eyes.  
"Well these were supposed to be a peace offering." She stated, tossing a beanbag to shut off the alarm.  
"For?" River realized she was in a white nightgown and bunny slippers.  
"Not telling you why the apartment was so cheap. It had to mostly be rebuilt after the fire and I didn't think they're be a lingering presence."  
"They?"  
"The girl who died in the fire. You're awfully distracted." Vera smirked. "More Sam-Winter smut?"  
"N-no!" River exclaimed as Vera peeked at her screen.  
"Oh-spicy. On the hood of the car. Dean's gonna be pissed."  
"Vera!"

Vera laughed and shook her head.  
"Am I forgiven?"  
"For?" River tilted her head.  
"Not telling you about why I got the apartment so cheap."  
"Eh?"  
"I know you believe in juju, Rach." Vera sighed. "But they rebuilt a lot of the apartment after the fire. No remains."  
"Fire..." River glanced around the room and gasped. If she removed the decor, she'd been in the room. "The fire where Jessica Lee Moore died."  
"Foul play was suspected but the case went cold. Her boyfriend mysteriously left after it happened, but their friends say he was planning on proposing..."

River stared at the ceiling. There were no burns, but this was the place. But...  
"You're forgiven."

Vera laughed and hugged her.  
"Good. I have to get ready for my date now."  
"Date?"  
"Yeah, an older gentleman." Vera grinned. "Not rich or anything. Just nice."  
"How old?"  
"Oh...enough to cause a stir." She stood up. "I leave you to your smut."

River began to protest as she glanced back at the screen she'd typed. _Is that...sex?_

Vera exited and River walked around the apartment. It was that first room she'd met Sam in. The one he blamed himself the most for. Her death he'd foreseen and been unable to change.  
"Sam..." River whispered, picking up a paperback-the paperback she'd used to channel the scene. "Where are you?"


	38. Chapter 37: Tug At the Heart Strings

Vera returned late and River was consumed. These were the same words she'd read, but the pages she turned-a real book-charmed her.  
"Yes, I'm in late. My guy had something come up. Then there was a fire at the bar I went to. So I was helping out try to salvage..."  
"Something?" River put the book down.  
"Yeah-family stuff. Hey, I got you the next volume while I was out!"  
"Really?" River jumped up.  
"Yes, I support you being a fangirl. Even if it means you're never going to date a real guy."

River laughed as she moved to take it. But she stopped suddenly. A pain filled her heart as if it was attached to a string, and that string had been tugged. Her vision began to blur as she held her hand to her heart. _Red string..._ Who had said that?

Vera turned as River fell to the floor.  
"Rachel?" She exclaimed, dropping next to her. "Oh god-you're burning up! Rach?" River barely heard her, tears forming in her eyes.  
"...Sam..."

_River stood before Sam. But it wasn't her or Rachel facing him. And it wasn't the present Sam. Whoever River was-they were crying._

_"You can't die! We're too close! I just need a little more time and I can break your curse!"_  
_"I'll gladly die if it gives you more time. Last time I failed you."_  
_"No! Please!" She pleaded. "There's no second chances after this! Lilith will be released soon, and will bring back he who she serves! We can end this!"_  
_"I get three tries." He sighed. "This is the third and I still haven't even found you."_  
_"I've almost caught up! Please! I can't let you disappear!" She was crying now. "My mortal life doesn't matter! If there's a chance we can meet again-"_  
_"I can't watch you die again!"_

"I can't watch her die again!"

River blinked as she sat up slowly. Vera was yelling at someone in the next room-but where were they? She was on an unknown bed, but...

River paused as she gathered she was at Bobby's. But the bed she was on. It smelled like decay, but it was overridden. It smelled like Sam's aftershave.  
"Sam!" River shot up and ran into the next room. But he wasn't there. Vera was-and so was Crowley, trapped by the door.  
"So..." The demon spoke up. "You wanna keep telling her that her soulmate is a fictional character? Or that the Demon who will try to kill her is fictional?"  
"Shut it!" Vera snapped, glaring at him. "Way I hear it you and Lilith are involved!"  
"True, but on my request she has promised not to hunt Raziel! No one made a certain former witch promise that!"

"Vera-I know everything!" River couldn't waste time. And if she was right, Rachel had just been Raziel speaking to the soul of the briefly deceased Sam-Sammael. She'd have known anyway. "I trust Crowley! And why are we at Bobby's?"

Vera paused and faced her.  
"Rachel...no...Raziel. You fell ill in the moment of Sam Winchester's-Sammael's death. When he came back to life, your connection is severed. He, his brother, and my lover are trying to shut a Hell's gate. Apparently some undesirables already got out." With that she glared at Crowley.  
"Your lover." River repeated.  
"The homeowner." Crowley commented. "I'd have expected more from a cherubim."  
"Watch it!" Vera hissed. "If nothing else he is a good man!"  
"You know he has a penchant for stabbing possessed lovers, right?"  
"I got consent from my vessel's soul!"

River computed what was said while they argued, then gasped.  
"Vera-you took Bobby as a lover? But Heaven-and Impala-"  
"I know that!" Vera snapped. "And had I not wound up on a hunt with him, and met him, and gotten trapped with him in a cave, then the Angelic Code would have been easier to remember!"

"But it's going to cost you!" River cried out. That was why in her time Vera was a gun.  
"Being here is going to cost me! Being here is going to cost you!" Vera shot back. "But it hasn't stopped you!"

River bit her lip, unable to reply. Crowley broke the silence.  
"So the current plan is for her and Sammy boy to meet up?" He asked. River blinked for a moment as Vera spoke. _But Rachel doesn't meet Sam._  
"Not much in the way of options. Demons will be out for her life, and at the side of two hunters is the safest place she can be. Hell, maybe she can persuade ye ole king of the crossroads to free Dean's soul." Vera stated.  
"Lilith promised _she_ wouldn't bother Raziel. But my loyalty is still to Lilith, and she wants Dean's soul." Crowley retorted.  
"Go figure."

They continued to converse, but River's mind was elsewhere.  
_Sam. I'm going to see Sam. This is before he meets Ruby. I can save him._

She hadn't realized yet that these were her souls memories-like a movie, the ending could not change.


	39. Chapter 38: Precious Murder

It was dusk when River finally asked Crowley why he hadn't left the area of the carpet he was standing on. He laughed and pulled up part of the carpet.  
"Hunter's house. Round rug usually means a devil's trap."  
"I see..."

River had been about to offer to break the seal when she heard a car pull up,  
"Sam." She whispered, jumping to her feet as chimes jingled. Crowley noticed the chimes as she ran toward the door.  
"Cherub, get in here!" He called out to Vera.

She should have been alarmed by that. This was when River realized she wasn't really in control. Rachel opened that door. She didn't know who the young blonde woman with long hair and a red leather jacket was. She was just confused-until she heard crashing and a yell.

"Rachel, run!" Vera's shout arrived from the kitchen. She turned to see what was happening-a little girl with white eyes was holding her back. One of the Angel's eyes was bleeding.  
"You promised she wouldn't be harmed!" Crowley roared.  
"I said _I_ would not harm her." The little girl answered. "She is a problem. Holding back her friend while a Demon who hates her finishes her was not in the deal."  
"You bitch! You told me..."  
"Securing Lucifer's vessel comes first! Raziel and Sammael will not meet!"

_Run! Fight! Move!_

River felt like screaming these, but Rachel was to scared to move. But she felt the pain in her lower back as Ruby plunged the knife into her lower back. Then she was numb, Vera and Crowley shouting as Ruby twisted it, smirking as she whispered into the dying girl's ear:  
"Just like your beloved." 


	40. Chapter 39: Small Difference

"Ruby murdered me. Again."

River had woken up without a scream or jerk. She'd disconnected enough to realize it was Rachel's death, not hers.

Crowley glanced at her as Dean and Vera argued in the next room. Castiel was trying to mediate. The Demon spoke to River though.  
"Sorry I failed ye again Lass."  
"Why are they fighting?"  
"They were discussing prepping a viewing of Raziel. The thing is you and your soul may have different goals." Crowley stated warily and River realized he'd been drinking.  
"To save Sam." River stated.  
"Your goal is to save Sam. Raziel's goal is to make sure Sammael's soul survives the ordeal."  
"The difference?"  
"Raziel might not care if my brother lives or dies as long as his soul exists."

River gasped as Dean entered, saying this. Vera glares and said something River couldn't understand, but she heard the though: _Have sex with the mouth of a goat._  
"Vera!" Castiel exclaimed, having understood it.

Vera stuck out her tongue as River faced Dean.  
"Maybe so, but you forget something." River stated.  
"What's that?" Dean hissed. "I'll see him in the next life?"  
"Raziel may be my soul, but _I_ am River Tam. _I_ control my actions. Sammael is not my priority. Sam Winchester is. I _will_ save your brother."  
"Why?" Dean glanced at her. River just smiled and laid back for a nap.  
"I'll tell you after him."


	41. Chapter 40: Heat of The Moment

**(Author's Note: Wow. Chapter 40. Thank you, readers. Thank you lots. Reviews are love. They keep me encouraged to keep writing. You should probably know when Earth That Was Finishes up I intend to write a sequel-Miranda That Is. That being said, happy 40th, here is some Sam River fluff)**

* * *

_"Where are we?"_

_River looked up as Sam approached her. She was sitting on one of the hanging walkways of the Serenity._  
_"My home. I decided you needed to see part of my life." River stated as he sat beside her. Their legs hung over the side and they were secure behind the railing._

_"It's looks like the inside of a ship."_  
_"It is."_

_In her memory the cargo bay the crew played a game, the teams of Jayne, Mal, Zoe, Kaylee, Book, and Wash were constantly shifting. Her brother had said they weren't playing by any civilized rules. That was just like the crew though._

_Sam didn't say anything. His face was blank-Samuel Colt's life probably just let him out. River suspected if it was his memory they'd be in a burnt room._

_"The blonde man is Wash. He was the pilot before me. He was married to Zoe, the one with the curly hair..." She began pointing them out. "The girl with brown hair is Kaylee-she's in love with Simon, my brother. The captain is wearing a red shirt. The man with scary hair is Book. Jayne-"_

_"You died in my arms."_

_River turned to Sam as he spoke. He was upset, his eyes red and his cheeks wet. She placed a hand on his cheek and met his eyes._  
_"**Rowena** died in **Samuel Colt's** arms. They aren't you and I."_  
_"Then why did we have to watch?" Sam exclaimed. "Why did I have to watch a lifetime without you?"_  
_"Because we needed to understand why I was sent back to save the world."_  
_"Raziel and Sammael, right? Walker-Crowley mentioned them."_  
_"I was sent back because they claimed no one else could do it." River replied. "You are not Sammael. I am not Raziel. You are Sam Winchester and I am River Tam. No matter how many times we lived previous, you are you and I am me!"_

_Sam stared at River for a moment._  
_"If you're trying to save the future you're from you should just kill me."_

_She stared back. She had intended to tell him the truth that night-how did he know when she was from?_  
_"How do you know-"_  
_"When I returned to my mind Lucifer told me. About what he told you. That he plans to bring back Ruby and 'unite' with her. And when that happens, my soul will disappear."_  
_"I won't let that happen!" River shouted._  
_"I think to save your future, my body has to die."_  
_"I want a second opinion!"_  
_"Who from?" Sam replied._  
_"I don't know! But I want one?"_  
_"Why can't you accept that I may have to die?"_  
_"Because **I've** fallen in love with **you**!"_

_Before the words left her lips, River hadn't understood the context of love. She asked Wash about it once. He'd helped. By now she understood it couldn't be measured. There was no explanation as to why she felt that way. No mathematical one anyway._

_"River, I'm cursed." Sam stated. "Every girl I've ever cared for seriously-"_  
_"Died or betrayed you. I know." River sighed. "You don't have to make excuses. I'm a crazy girl from the future."_  
_"That's not what I'm saying River. I'm no good. I unleashed Hell on Earth!" Sam exclaimed._  
_"Tell me something I don't know." River replied._  
_"What will it take to make you abandon me?"_

_Sam had risen by now in his exclamations. River sighed and stood, only measuring up to his chin as she looked up into his hazel eyes._  
_"The only reason I'd abandon my feelings is if they're one-sided. If you can look me in the eyes here, in the Mind scape, and tell me you **don't** care about me, I will wake up and run you through as you have so asked. But only if."_

_Sam met River's eyes and she saw the conflict in his. She was sure he was going to try to lie, even though one could only speak their mind on the mind scape._

_Instead he kissed her._

_River double took. It wasn't like Colt and Rowena's kiss. Rowena had known how to. River didn't. Sam helped her though, guiding her to tilt her head._

_River wasn't sure when she'd wrapped her arms around his neck, or when the memory changed to her childhood home. She was sure the kiss had grown feverish as Sam lowered her onto the rug in front of the fireplace._

_River was even more sure Simon would have killed him if he'd known what he'd done._


	42. Chapter 41: Discussions of Virtue

"If I had sex in a dream does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore?"

It was morning, and Crowley sputtered his coffee when River asked this. Vera stopped chopping peppers the omlette. Dean put down the newspaper he was reading for omens. Castiel seemed confused. Missouri laughed.

"Medically speaking your virtue is intact." Vera stated.  
"Please do not encourage her to quite literally mind fuck my brother while I am in the room!"  
"I'm not eating. Again." Crowley stated.  
"Wait...River and Sam...on the mental plane?"  
"Did you dream about having sex or did you and Sam make love via your mental connection?"  
"Missouri!" Dean exclaimed.

Vera snickered as Crowley groaned again.  
"Dean, you've said and done far worse in Sam's presence." Missouri pointed out.  
"Only when he walked in-and on occasion to watch him squirm!"

"Whats our plan?" River asked as they argued. Vera sat beside her and spoke up.  
"I have to dig up a way we can connect you to Raziel's memories. She's more trouble as she never really died."  
"Can't you use Sam and I's connection and syphon through Sammael?"  
"Can't. We'd need Sam to institute the connection."  
"What if I can't see through Raziel's memories?"  
"Then training your powers is going to be a bitch." Vera finished her coffee and stretched out. "I should get going."

Before another word could be said a car screeched to a stop outside. Missouri was the only one un-phased, as Crowley whistled for Grim, Castiel drew his blade, Dean loaded a sawed off, and Vera moved in front of River.

The door was kicked open. Bobby burst in, rifle out.  
"What in the Sam Hill is going, why have you all seized Dean?"  
"To save the world." Castiel said.  
"To train River." Crowley interjected.  
"Hi Robert."

By the time Bobby turned Vera was trying to hide behind river. The flaw was in the fact that she was taller. He dropped his gun and stared.

"Vera?"


	43. Chapter 42: Sin City

"You vanished without a trace after a Hell's gate opened up, and after three years you show up!"  
"Technically you showed up!"

Vera and Bobby were fighting outside. Dean looked confused, Crowley was laughing, and Castiel was shaking his head.  
"A human lover? She took a human lover?" Castiel muttered. Dean glanced at him.  
"Bobby banged an Angel. With out knowing it. So it just looked to him like a younger chick."  
"A hunter." River pointed out. "They met on a hunt. She's been doing it longer then most of you have been alive. Probably impressive."  
"Most of 'you'?" Dean questioned.  
"I haven't been born yet."

Dean blinked again, processing the information. Crowley went to speak to Missouri and Castiel was silent, so River chose to dwell. She reached out to his mind, finding a familiar presence. He was thinking of someone she'd met. She wanted to say she was an Angel, but she wasn't in the same breath.

"We have a plan!"

River's focus left Castiel as Missouri and Crowley had entered. Bobby was sitting, and ice pack to his hand.  
"That's why I didn't wanna give you the free punch..." Vera muttered. River blinked and turned to Crowley.  
"The idea?" She asked. Missouri exhaled before speaking.  
"The Prophet Chuck. He might be able to offer us a better channel to Raziel." She explained.  
"And the lady has been able to track his location."

"Come again?" Vera asked as Castiel lifted his head.  
"The prophet should have ascended into Heaven after he wrote the tale."  
"Yeah, well he's in Las Vegas." Crowley stated. "And we should go before he runs out of money."

"Well is anyone else going to say it?" Dean looked up. River tilted his head. He smirked before speaking.  
"Vegas, baby, Vegas!"


	44. Chapter 43: Secret Spots

_"Vegas huh? Dean must be thrilled."_

_River giggled and nodded. The mindscape was far from scary anymore. They were in a memory. It was one of the secret compartments in the Serenity. It was closed off, just their own little world. Sam held her close, the curve of her back to his chest. Not even fabric separated them, for their clothing was discarded when the dream began._

_"What is this place?" Sam question. River smiled as he held his hand, the rest of his arm wrapped around her._  
_"My spot on Serenity. I was able to hear her here."_  
_"Wait..." Sam paused, "You said Jo and Serenity were the same person...did we just...in Jo?"_

_River blinked and laughed._  
_"No one's ever had sex in Impala?"_  
_"Fair enough. Why do you need to find Chuck in Vegas?"_  
_"Missouri thinks as a story teller he can help us read Raziel's memories. She never actually died so it's not something they can tune in through me."_

_Sam's face fell as River looked up at him._  
_"Another life to watch, huh?"_  
_"I think I outlive you this time?" River offered._  
_"We don't know what Sammael did." Sam whispered. "I don't want you suffering again on my account."_  
_"One-Sammael's actions. Two: It's already happened in the past. The best way for me to understand and use my psychic abilities is to see their origin-Raziel."_  
_"What's the second best Way?"_  
_"Sam!"_

_Sam sighed as he lay back, his hand leaving River._  
_"Maybe I don't like that we're only seeing our bad times."_  
_"So maybe I should tune into the lives and show us some good ones. Maybe Rowena will oblige." River replied. Sam chuckled as she climbed on top of him._  
_"They seemed to have their share if good times."_  
_"And now I get why they were naked." River whispered, kissing him playfully. Sam laughed again, pulling her into his embrace._  
_"Do you?"_  
_"Yes."_  
_"Show me."_


	45. Chapter 44: Voices

(Author's Not: I would like to apologize for the delay. I had a couple chapters ready but G-Mail lost them and I just got around to re-writing them.)

* * *

River didn't like Las Vegas much. It was much too loud for her. She could hear voices, thoughts, and these were horrid mixed with the bings, clicks, and jingles of the city that never slept. She just couldn't hold it all out of her head, like she could elsewhere.

_Oh god. I can't believe he...with a hooker...and my sister...and a sheep!_

_Shit. That was the mortgage I just lost. At the utilities._

_I did not think I'd do this when I grew up. Now I get paid for guys to stare at my rack._

_Oh my god I won! I'm rich!_

_I hate my life. No one would care if I disappeared..._

Her little group wasn't much better as they passed through a casino. When she couldn't block them out it was a real nightmare. She had no idea how much went on in her companion's minds.

_Can we really find him here?_ Castiel was looking around. _Why would a prophet be in this den of sin?_

_All this trouble, we better be able to save Sam. God, and I felt bad about dating her-Vera was the older one?_ Bobby was exasperated by his personal problems.

_This is seriously messed up. Why would...God, why did I go and get attached to a human?_ Vera was utterly distracted, trying and failing not to dwell on Bobby. _I can't believe he kissed a Demon!_

_Damn Winchester's got a fine ass._ Crowley seemed to have the easiest time leaving the past behind him.

_I feel eyes on my butt. They better not be Crowley's._

River fell behind as the rest of the group walked ahead. More thoughts flew by. People walked past her. She was alone in a sea of faces she didn't know. People were feeling all matter of emotion-anger, despair, joy ecstasy, confusion. Her brain heard just picking up those alone. But hundreds of them were passing her at once. Combined with all the sounds it was too much.  
"Crowley?" She called out and realized she'd missed them. "Grim?" She cried weakly.

The form of the Hell Hound moved through the crowd as River fell to her knees, shaking.  
"Grim...I can't stand it..." She leaned against it, trying to drown it out. "A stone...please god, make me a stone!" River screamed the words she never thought she would again.

And then it went black.


	46. Chapter 45: Voice of God

_Rowena was hurt. River could feel her pain. She was banged up. Someone, a strange man with yellow eyes had tried to beat her to Death. Samuel Colt and company had burst in. Jean had said something in Latin and Samuel had scooped up Rowena._  
_"Easy little Lady..." The sheriff had whispered as Rowena clung to him. "It will be okay. I've got you. Whats your name?"_  
_"...Rowena."_  
_"Right then, Miss Rowena. I'm Sheriff Samuel Colt. We'll take care of you."_

_"This isn't what I had in mind."_

_River looked up as Sam spoke. Samuel was treating Rowena's injuries. So Sam was patting a wet cloth to River's face._  
_"This was how they met." River whispered. "How they fell in love."_  
_"I suppose I can understand that. But seeing you in pain..."_  
_"Rowena's pain."_

_"I had it coming." Rowena's weak voice echoed. "Been a dancer since I came out west."_  
_"You didn't deserve to get smacked around." The sheriff replied._  
_"Such a strange man..." She whispered. "He had yellow eyes...called me Raziel..."_  
_"No right to beat up a girl."_

_"Azazel did this..." Sam and River were observers now, standing side by side with their hands held._  
_"I suppose so."_  
_"Why did he follow me so often?"_  
_"He worked for Lilith."_

_Rowena looked offended as she sat up._  
_"A man has a right to defend himself if a gal picks a fight. Or are you saying I couldn't actually hurt you?"_  
_"Only because I couldn't hit a woman."_  
_"Oh!" Rowena moved to punch him. Colt caught the punch and paused._  
_"This feels...familiar."_  
_"Yeah..." Rowena whispered. "The whole scene has..."_  
_"Like we danced this dance."_  
_"Laughed at this joke..."_

_Colt caught Rowena in a sharp kiss, intense. River could feel it tingling on her lips. She thought she felt Colt's hands running over Rowena's body, until she realized it was Sam._

_"Sam..." River giggled as the scene faded. They were alone again, in one of numerous motels Sam had stayed in during his life._  
_"Did I get carried away?" Sam tilted his head as River faced him. His eyes were somehow wider-puppy dog, if River recalled correctly. His bottom lip was jutting out. The whole expression was adorable. River giggled as she kissed him._  
_"Not going far enough."_

_Afterwords they were cuddling again. Sam held River close, kissing her all over. She giggled lightly, running her hands through his hair. Then she noticed the light._

'Raziel...'

_"River?" Sam stopped, noticing her distraction. River sat up slowly, stepping out from under the sheet._  
_"Someone is calling me."_

'Rowena?'

_"River, I don't hear anything..." Sam paused as a light began to appear outside the window. It wasn't Lucifer's fire but a warmer light, growing._

'Rachel...?'

_"Sam." River looked at him. "I can hear God."_


	47. Chapter 46: River Runs Through It

"Raziel?"

God was not what River expected. He was a smaller man, with orange-ish hair and beard. Furthermore he was wearing boxers, a tank top, slippers and a bath robe. But somehow...she just knew he was God.

"You've probably been in Hell over this." God stated as he shook his head.  
"I guess I have." River sat up as she hugged her knees. "Not as much as him."

They were on a rooftop. She couldn't tell which casino.  
"I bet they never guessed what extremes you'd go to save him." God stated, offering her a breaded object on a stick.  
"I'd imagine they'd have tried to stop me." River replied.  
"So you're here to change the future."  
"I was. Now my priority is saving Sam."  
"I see." God nodded. "So you came to Vegas..."  
"We're looking for the Prophet Chuck." River stated. "I need access to Raziel's memories."  
"They're more painful then Rowena or Rachel's." God stated.  
"I need to know what happened to her..." River trailed off. "To me."  
"What if it changes your priority and you don't wanna save Sam anymore?"

It took River a minute to understand.  
"I will save Sam Winchester." She stated. "It may be Raziel's goal to save Sammael, but not mine. Sam and I...we we aren't them."

"That being said, do you really need to know what happened?" God glanced at her, honest concern on his face.

"...I need to understand why Ruby and Lucifer fight." River replied. "Or I'll never be able to defeat them."  
"Now you know why you have to go back. Should I tell you about it?"  
"Is that the only way?" River frowned. God laughed and shook his head.  
"It's that or you seek out Sammael's memories from the depths if Sam's mind. A delicate process."  
"I have a gentle touch."

God laughed again and River became aware she could hear Vera calling for her.  
"You're friends are almost here. And then I can't answer big questions. Do you know the disaster it'd be if everyone knew who I was?"  
"Catastrophe." River exhaled. "Why don't you interfere more?"  
"Free will, mostly." God sighed. "Also, the fact is humans are resilient. I could throw almost anything at them and they'd bounce right back. If I saved them, they'd lose that. It's the feature I like most about them."  
"How can I save Sam?" River chose her final question.

God frowned and looked at her.  
"You sure you want that spoiler?"  
"If Lucifer wins all I've done is a waste."  
"Fair enough." God sighed. "You must run Lucifer through with an Angelic Blade."  
"Why is that bade?"  
"Because in order to succeed in that task," God frowned, "You'll have to do it while he's in his vessel. You'll have to deal the fatal blow to Lucifer _and_ Sam Winchester."

River stared in horror as the others reached the rooftop.

"There you are!" Dean panted, then looked up. "And you found Chuck! Hey, dude, we have a question-"  
Vera stopped him, having spotted River's expression.  
"River...?"  
"You're a _pigu_!" River snapped at Chuck before running past them.  
"River!" Crowley exclaimed as Grim ran after her.  
"What did you say to her?" Vera shouted.

Their voices were faint as River ran down the stairs and out of the building. She didn't stop until she reached a fountain and looked up slowly. Night had fallen and the city was as noisy as before. Grim whined, nudging her softly as River sat down slowly.  
"What do I do...?" She whispered, staring at her reflection. She couldn't rejoin the others at the moment. She just couldn't.  
"Is something wrong my child?"  
"You have no..."

River froze for a moment as she turned and faced the voice's owner. There, standing in a lit up jumpsuit sporting a pompadour, was the unmistakable...

"Shepherd Book?"_  
_


	48. Chapter 47: Father Toby

They wound up at his chapel-a 24 hour joint with a drive thru-and 'Book' was serving her tea.

"It's been a long time since anyone was quite so respectful of what they called me, even if they were off course." He laughed a bit. "Most people just call me Father, if that."

"What should I call you then?"

"My name is Tobias."

"Can I call you Father Toby?"

"I suppose." He chuckled. "You seemed to be distressed."

"I found out to defeat the Devil I may have to lose the man I love." River stated, staring into her tea. "All because he might have trusted the wrong people."

"I see." Tobias shook his head. "I won't lie. It sounds like a horrid situation."

"I don't want to lose him. But if I do nothing I will anyway. God won't help us."

"God's a busy man."

"Yeah right."

River frowned as Tobias glanced at her.

"I'm afraid I don't have much help to offer you..."

"I don't know myself." River finished off her cup. "I need to find guidance. Thank you for the tea."

"Where will you go?" Tobias asked.

"I don't know. I have some friends. I just don't feel right going back yet. One of them is his brother." River paused, ran back, and hugged him. Tobias blinked, looking at her.

"Child...?"

"I'm sorry I broke your symbol."

Without another word River fled to the strip.


	49. Chapter 48: Serenity

(Note: As part of my return-for however long the muse lasts-here is a longer chapter)

* * *

Incense. That was why River entered the shop. It reminded her of Inara, what with the Oriental Ornaments and tapestries that hung in the windows. Inara had always been nice to River. As time passed River had come to see her as a surrogate mother. Kaylee could never be mother-that would have made Simon 'Father'.

River slipped into the back room and tilted her head. Several people were posing with lifted legs and angled arms. She slipped into place beside them, following the moves. It was peaceful-tai chi maybe? They were following the lead of someone she hadn't looked at yet. Most of them wore sweatpants, everyone except River and the instructor. It was only when she spoke that River looked up.

"Focus all your energy to the tips of your fingers and let it fall, slide down to your toes..."

The woman was less formal then River was used to. Her black hair was cut short and she wore a red leotard. But her face was unmistakable.  
"Inara." River gasped.

* * *

"It's Mona, but pleased to meet you."

She had that same comforting smile River was used to. She'd addressed her after the exercise.

"So why are you alone?" Mona inquired as they walked down the sidewalk. She'd invited River for dinner-insisting she looked starved-and that she was attending some kind of party.  
"I came here with some friends." River explained. "See...I'm looking for my soul mate."  
"Aren't we all." Mona chuckled as she buzzed the button at door. "I think that's why Todd hosts these things. He wanted to play match maker something fierce, ever since he met his wife here." She added, opening the door as it unlocked.  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah." Mona laughed. "She was Military. He was Air Force. They met at a bar, got in a fight, and-well, you know." Obviously she wouldn't say it, but River heard it anyway. _Had sex, decided it was good, got married in a 24 hour._ "They've been extremely happy ever since."  
"Mona!"

River turned and gasped as the girl in overalls and hair buns charged Mona in a hug.  
"Kaylee?"  
"Uh, Crystal." She smiled at her. "Mona bring you?"  
"Yes?" River tilted her head.  
"Todd said we could bring people. I found her wandering and insisted she join us for dinner." Mona explained.  
"I see." Crystal laughed as she led them into an apartment.

River was sure she was hallucinating. In the Kitchen was Zoe-with a tag that read 'Jenna, the Host's wife'. Talking to her was Mal, with a tag that read 'Philip'. Stuffing his face with finger food was Jayne-'Alex'. And coming out to greet them all was Todd, unmistakably Wash.

River never wanted to leave that room as he hugged each of them. She felt at home as Mona called Philip an inconsiderate thief (he was in real estate, River learned). It was natural when Jenna threatened to hurt Alex for sticking his finger in the cake mix. Crystal chattered with River about cars (she was green with envy when she mentioned the Impala). It was...Serenity.

"So, you got a boy?"

When they had found out she didn't have anywhere to stay, they began bickering over who she'd stay with. Now River was walking with Crystal back to her apartment-over a garage she worked in with her brothers, owned by her dad.

"Well...it's complicated. You?" River replied.  
"None yet." Crystal sighed. "Complicated, huh?"  
"Extremely."  
"Another girl?"

River paused, contemplating this thought as Crystal led her inside.  
"Kind of. Got him involved with the wrong crowd." River explained. "I'm trying to help him get away." She added.  
"Right." Crystal nodded as they walked. One of her brother's called and she ran over to help him with a car.

"River."

She turned to face the voice owner and blinked. It was Wash, the one from her time. He was in white clothing-a tunic with a golden rope and leggings. She could make out the outline of wings on the wall behind him.  
"Wash?" River blinked as she approached him.  
"You forgot me." Wash whispered, looking sad.  
"No! Never!" River cried out.  
"You forgot the reason you came here then." Wash exhaled. "I understand. You fell in love. I'm still in love with Zoe, do I know the feeling."  
"Zoe..." River's face fell. She was forgetting. Her love for Sam had clouded her mind.

Memories of Wash and Book filled her mind as she stood in the driveway, trembling.  
"I came back to save everyone. To change our future. For Miranda!" River cried out, tear rolling down her cheeks. "But I don't want to lose him!"  
"River, mei-mei. If you succeed in saving the future-"  
"River, look out!"

River turned as Crystal cried our. The car they'd been working on had broken free. The last thing River saw before blacking out was the Hunmer hitting her.


	50. Chapter 49: Brother of Mine

"Where's Sam?"

River had grown accustomed to him being there when she was unconscious. But she wasn't on the Serenity, or in his apartment, or anywhere she knew. She was in a bar.  
"Easy, girl."  
"Mom, she won't take this well. Hell, if it goes all the way reality bends!"

River blinked as she awoke. She was laying on a pool table, wearing a white dress. She sat up slowly and came to the conclusion she was in a bar. She realized this because behind the counter was Ellen. Sitting next to it were Jo and a man with a mullet. Except Jo was wearing a dress suit and her hair seemed to be glowing.  
"Serenity?" River whispered. Jo responded and she realized Jo had returned to her Angelic existence after death.  
"Hello Raziel."  
"River." She replied. Serenity/Jo paused and exhaled.  
"Thank God. You're not completely dead yet. The rush of two life times worth-for you three-of memories coming back? Not the best thing in the world."  
"Not completely..." River's eyes went wide.  
"You got hit by a hummer." The man with mullet started and Ellen whacked him. "What?"  
"She's not dead, Ash. You can afford to explain it all." Ellen hissed.  
_**"Rachel!"**_

River blinked and looked around. The voice was distant and familiar...  
"See-well for one, for all intensive purposes, I still mostly Jo these days, just with Serenity and Jean's memories." Jo sighed. "You're on the brink of life and death. Crystal called an ambulance. You're probably in the hospital. They're trying to bring you back."

**_"Rachel, damn it, don't go again!"_**

"I can hear a voice. He's calling for Rachel though." River whispered.  
"Then I don't have long. River, there's problem." Jo sighed. "Michael and Raphael found out you're around. There is likely to be interference from Heaven now. Cas and Vera will be ordered to return. They will not have time to teach you how to use your abilities."  
"So what am I supposed to do?" River cried out. "I don't even know where Lucifer is, or how to find him!"  
"...Michael and Raphael don't know that I plan to come find you." Jo stated.  
"Jo...you know what's at stake." Ellen whispered.  
"...Mom." Jo faced her. "I need to do this. For the resistance."  
"Resistance?" River barely had time to ask as the scene blurred.

_**"Wake up!"  
**_

* * *

"Simon...?"

The doctor standing over River with the defibrillator looked just like her brother.  
"You've survived." He exhaled. "Thank god..." He dropped the device and hugged her.  
"Doctor, she called out the name Simon. This isn't Rachel...her name is River."

As Crystal spoke, pieces slid together. This was the Simon of that day and age. He'd lost his sister-Rachel, River's past life. And so, in the future, Simon would do everything to save her. River blinked as she hugged him back, exhaling.  
"...your sister loves you. Always." She whispered as she spotted Jo in the lobby. "But I'm not her. Not yet."

Without warning she broke away and ran to Jo. Crystal and the Doctor yelled out as the Angel grasped River's hand. And then they were gone.


	51. Chapter 50: Betrayal?

((Author's Note: I am so sorry it took forever for me to update! You see, what happened is, I had some college drama. Long story short I had to stop writing fan fiction and start focusing on my work. And then I had to take summer classes. And then I had to transfer. At last, it is Summer. And I shall try to get back on this, watching all of Firefly and Supernatural Seasons 1-5 for inspiration. Hope you're all still out there. Either way, I wanna finish this. Thanks for the support back then))

* * *

It was hard to say who was the most startled when River and Jo appeared in the hotel room, but it was probably Dean.

"River, where have you-where's-Jo?" Dean exclaimed.  
_Serenity..._ Castiel was shocked, but said nothing.  
"Oh, Goody." Crowley groaned. "One more Angel."  
"Where's Vera and Bobby?" River asked as she looked around the hotel room.  
"Looking for you." Dean stated. "Where have you been?"  
"Reevaluating the situation." River replied before facing Crowley and Castiel. "_Teach me._"

Again River caught them off guard.  
"You haven't seen-"  
"You don't understand-"  
"My first life was Raziel." River cut them off. "She as an Angel. So was Sammael. They were in love. Heaven has rules against Angels and love. When Lucifer started his Rebellion, Sammael joined his side, wanting the right to love Raziel. During that time he made an unfortunate deal with the Devil. As a result the reincarnations of Sammael became viable Lucifer vessels."  
"So I have this Sammael prick to thank?" Dean asked, earning a jab from Jo. He yelped as River continued.  
"Raziel began the reincarnation process, chasing Sammael's soul like an endless game of tag." She smiled dimly. "Most of the time they just missed each other. But in the case of Rowena and Samuel Colt, their lives were entwined. During his grief after her death, he was able to seal away Ruby and Lilith alike. We fight better together."  
"But Sammael's actions," Vera had just entered the room.  
"Are not Sam's. And..." River looked down as Dean demanded to know where Vera and Bobby had been.  
"River?" Crowley placed a hand on her shoulder. "What is it, sweetie?"  
"I need to talk to Sam!"

River broke away as Dean raised a brow.  
"So would I but-ow!"  
"You are soo dense." Jo scolded.  
"Let her go." Castiel said this to Crowley.

Yet it was Vera who found River curled up in the bathtub.  
"Can't be comfortable." The One Eyed Angel commented.  
"Suits me fine." River whispered. "Let's me focus."  
"I see...I'm not just in it for Raziel, you know."

River peeked out without thinking about it.  
"Who else?"

In a moment Vera had dropped to her knees beside the bathtub and grabbed River by the shoulder. She screeched reflexively, hearing the thought: _I'm sorry but this needs done!_. Then Vera lifted her eye patch. The eye that River stared into seemed to take her far away, so far that Crowley yelling for Grim to break down the door seemed distant, and then it all went white...


	52. Chapter 51: The Stream of Time

"Oh my god. You're beautiful."

River paused and turned as she faced Sam. It was her turn to gasp.

They were standing in a white room she'd never seen before, consisting of clouds. They were genderless forces with no form, only essence. Glowing forms of celestial light, with simple shapes. They had limbs, she concluded as they embraced, but nothing else she could be sure of. It was a pure existence.

And she already felt Raziel vying for control of this form.  
"Sam, I don't have long..." River fell over hee words. "I know how to defeat Lucifer, but there's a cost..."  
"Slow down, Raziel, what do you mean defeat Lucifer?"

River felt sick then. Sammael. Sam had already lost control. And Raziel''s essence was forcing her out.

In that next second she was a simple observer, but not paying attention. She was looking for Sam. He was there, the trouble was, something was very off.

_"I'm sorry. I don't know what just happened. How is your charge?" Raziel inquired, releasing Sammael._  
_"She nearly made a deal with Lilith. Do we know who turned Adam's first wife into a demon yet...?"_

"That would be me. But he doesn't find out for a while." As he spoke, River felt her heart fall. It wasn't Sam spectating with her. He wore a white suit, his hair neat, a smirk on his face, out of place.  
"Lucifer." River's fists clenched a he laughed.  
"Lose track of time? By the time you wake up, I'll have preformed the ritual and I'll seek out my bride! Sammy boy is almost gone!"

_"No, not a clue." Raziel shook her head. "Keep guiding young Petal. Her future...does not look light."_  
_"I suppose not..." Sammael paused. "Raziel...have you heard what the traitor is saying?"_  
_"That he questions God. Why, do you?"_  
_"Just his decision to leave Zachariah in charge while he courts that girl in Nazareth."_

"Sam will not disappear!" River snapped.  
"Shh..." Lucifer, still wearing Sam, held up a hand. "Its getting good."

_"There is that." Raziel's laugh was warm and full of life. "What has the Cherubim done to Anger you?"_  
_"He forbade love among Angels." If they had hands, the Angel's hands became fisrs._  
_"What?" Raziel's voice changed in an instant. "How..."_  
_"I don't know. Imp and Derriel have already opted to become human so they can be together instead of betray their feelinga." Sammael paused. "Raziel..."_

River could feel the pain as Raziel faced him. It had never been a problem before, love. Joined essence as one. The closeness. No sex, no children, no kissing. Love caused no harm.

_"Why forbid us love?" The Angel cried out._  
_"Because, he claims it will divide our loyalty."_  
_"Of course it wouldn't!"_  
_"So if I asked you to follow me to Earth so we could be together as humans, you would remain as a watcher, loyal to God?"_

"There it is!" Lucifer jeered as River read Raziel's shock. "The answer to the riddles! Why you're never able to catch up and save him!"

_"W-what? Sammael. I..." Raziel stammered, still agast. Sammael's face fell._  
_"I see. I understand. Good bye, Raziel." And then he was gone._  
_"No! Wait! Sammael!" Raziel fell to her knees, shaking. "I love you...don't leave me alone..."_

"That can't be right!" River cried out. "Sammael joins your rebellion-becomes your vessel in the next life-how-"  
"You Summer child. Back then an Angel becoming human kept their memories." Lucifer smirked. "It all adds up in the end."  
"How?" River cried out. "Why did she stick to her duties?"  
"Who told you that?" He laughed, a cold cruel laugh. "She went back to them in the end, yes. Tell me, little girl. Did you know Sammael was an Angel of Holy Flame?"  
"What does that mean?"

_"Castiel. I need to become human. Now." Raziel was in another room, with another Angel. But no doubt-it was Castiel._  
_"Excuse me? Why?"_  
_"I can't let Sammael believe I don't love him."_

"What? But why..." River was confused.  
"One month on Earth is Ten Years in Hell. Heaven is the opposite. By the time Raziel made that request, Sammael had been on Earth for a year. It wasn't rebirth. He felt the sting of that rejection. Thaylt was how she stole him away the first time."

Human and mortal, Raziel had sought out her lost love. She found him, in the arms of a red headed wirch wearing a black dress. He saw her though as she felt tears burn for the first time. He called to her as she ran away crying.

"But he saw her! How did Ruby hold him?" River cried out, unable to change the history.  
"Because I still had friends in high places."

_Raziel was sobbing in a stream. Letting the cold water wash over her. Numb her. She jerkes her head, sensin the group of Angels as they approached._  
_"Azazel? What are you doing here?" She addressed the leader._  
_"Lucifer is losing his war." He replied._  
_"So?"_  
_"Lucifer is losing his war, and your presence loosens his grip on plan B."_

River gasped as the blade pierced Raziel's gut and she fell in the water.  
"As one of the few Angels of Holy Fire, I knew I could pull on Sammael's human form as an escape pod. Just needed him to agree. Convincing him Heaven had you killed was all I needed to do-he didn't realize the deal was eternal then."

_"Raziel!" Sammael burst on the scene as the Angels left. He gasped as he picked up her broken body. "No, NO!"_  
_"S-Sammael..." A sad smile crossed Raziel's face. "You came..."_  
_"No...you did. And I was idiotic enough not to wait..." Sammael whispered. "You abandoned your post for me...and they killed you for it."_  
_"No..." Raziel was trying to warn him. But she was fading. Dying._  
_"I swear I'll make them pay!" Sammael pulled her close. Raziel sobbed because she could no longer speak. And then she went limp as he screamed her name._

River was screaming out. Trying to stop it. Lucifer laughed as it went white.  
"Course, Imp and Derriel were none to happy when they found out. They helped Michael seal me. Derriel was furious when he found out that because Sammael made a deal with me, he was going to the Cursed Cycle. He went into the reincarnation river and swore no matter how many times he was reborn, he would never help Heaven or Hell again." The Devil smirked. "So little girl. Your move. Now you know how the endless tag game began. What will you do? Can you stop me?"

River's mind raced as she tried to think, to clear her mind. The trouble was...she knew Azazel's face. She knew the future if Lucifer won. But the worst part was only occuring to her now. Her heart had always felt empty, but there had been no longing. She'd never sought out Sam's next life, or even wound up connected in some way. She'd pondered it many times-why she'd never met him anywhere when their souls were entwined. And now she knew, as she watched Lucifer wear Sam's skin and laugh.

Because in River Tam's lifetime, there was no Sam. Sam was never reborn after Lucifer sealed fhe deal with Ruby. And Earth would fade into Myth.

_"Do not dare give up on him!"_

_Raziel looked up as Vera shouted at her._  
_"Raziel, you are a watcher and a time keeper! You can be reborn again and again and chase after him, knowing you're in the best time amd place to do so!" She cried out. "So don't you give up like I did on Mud!"_

River paused a she identified Mud as a charge of Vera, a man they deemed she got to attached to. They'd removed him from her care and he died three days later. But that didn't matter. Time keeper. Raziel coule manipulate the flow of the stream of time. She could see the world in an instant. River could use those. She knew them now.

"Well. You meddling child. Do you understand?" Lucifer taunted. River turned and faced him.  
"Do you?" He was caught off guard as she said this. Then she grabbed his face, looking straight into his eyes, where she knew Sam was trapped in a burning room.  
"Sam Winchester! Listen to me!" River shoured and she saw it. In that back room, Sam lifted his head. "The game is not over! Lucifer does not hold all the pieces! I will find you, I will set you free, do you hear me? And then..." Her heart boke because she knew what she had to do. He'd be reborn in her time, and she prayed they'd meet. "...and then if you can forgive me, its your turn, you are it!"

River had heard no yelling to wake hee, but know she had to. But when her eyes opened she was not at all shocked to see the man she once identified as Rance Burgess, a baby stealer. Knowing him now to be Azazel, the Yellow Eyed Demon, it made even more sense. How Petaline happenes to hace the Colt that shot him down, she'd never know. Everyone was in the main room, tied up, Demons aiming guns at them. It was night fall. The red moon rising. Yet River was unafraid. Lucifer had wasted time taunting her. Now she had all the time in the world.

"Any last words, brat?" Azazel growled, aiming his gun. River smiled, her eyes glowing pale blue.  
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."


	53. Chapter 52: Friends from the Future

((Author's Note: At last I am rounding the final corner. To those who've stuck around, thank you. If it seems rushed, it's not. I never really intended for a training sequence. It's wrapping up. Not long now))

* * *

River could feel time flow around her. And she focused on flat out stopping it, across the world. The power burned in her blood, power a human should never have, she had to stay focused. She climbed out of the tub, observing the leering Demon.  
"I watch you die the second time. At the hands of a whore."

Every non-second counted as she untied her allies. Jo, who would pay for her meddling. Dean, who could go home soon. Crowley, who'd see her again, though she suspected she would never see again. Castiel, who'd catch on eventually. Bobby, who was very damn confused. Vera, who would Protect Mud again. River smiled sadly and gave each a long hug, hoping they'd feel it when time unfroze. Somewhere Ruby was frozen too. Lucifer was not. They would have to battle. River would brace herself for it. As she walked toward the door, she pauses, looking back.  
"Thank you, everyone, for believing in me. I won' t let you down." She began to walk out and paused again. "Sick 'em, Grim!"

* * *

When River finally reached the apartment in Stanford she knew she had to unfreeze time or die. Her body ached and screamed, and he was waiting inside. Lucifer, within Sam's body' wearing that sinister white suit. He stood in the doorway as she let go of the time stream, collapsing onto her knees.  
"Well that's the saddest thing I've ever seen." He scoffed. "You froze time across the universe to stop me from conssumating with my bride, and fall ten yards away?"  
"Fall, perhaps..." River looked up, breathing hard. "But I didn't fail."  
"Ruby is just inside." He scoffed. "Awaiting me. And now I can actually join with her."  
"No," River heaved, "She isn't."  
"Your friends can't have showed. You just unfroze them."  
"Lucifer..." River exhaled. "I only froze the present."  
"Whats that supposed to mean?"  
"It means Friends from the future won't fail me."

A scream rang suddenly and the Devil flipped around. Wash had appeared, a sword aimed at Ruby's throat. She was as she had died: wearing a leather jacket with black hair. Behind Lucifer was Book, shaking his head, his eyes black.  
"Here is the Deal." Book spoke clearly. "Ruby will not be harmed, though she deserves it, unless she tried to get in the way. This is between you amd River now. Be a man and fight your opponent."

"A burned out brat from another time?" Lucifer snarled. "Are you mad?"  
"If that's the case," Wash commented, "What are you worried about? You can finish your foe so easily? Do it!"  
"Do you want her dead that much?" Lucifer flipped around to growl at Wash.  
"No," Book spoke. "Just unlike you, we don't underestimate River."

Ruby was frantic, well aware the Angel's sword could kill her. Raziel's powers were not supposed to awaken. It was supposed to end tonight, once and for all. Then they'd decimate the world. Now the brat had back up from the distant future and-she gasped.  
"_**Look out**_!"  
"I'm sorry, Sam!"

Lucifer flipped around to find River on her feet, Gabriel's lost sword in her hands as she thrust it into his body. He gasped, Ruby's screams blending with River's sobs as the girl from the future fell to her knees. Both were distant as the first Angel to Fall fell onto the bed. He knew what was next. His life force began to flicker. And then he ceased to be.


	54. Chapter 53: Fading Farewell

Despite the fact that he coughed up blood, Sam Winchester gasped his first free breath in what felt like forever. River had started to become translucent as the young woman held onto Sam, sobbing.  
"Wash!" She cried out, voice breaking. "Heal him!"  
"I can't..."  
"Hurry!"

Sam had put it together, and hew knee she had to. Their future was averted. The man named Wash didn't die like that, didn't become an Angel.  
"River..." Sam managed to whisper, moving an arm weakly around her. "...its okay."

River heard Sam whisper her name, for the very first time, and her heart broke as she curled up beside him, head against his chest. He tried to squeeze her hand to reassure her as she sobbed, but faltered.  
"...River...wheres your hand?" Sam managed to whisper.  
"What?"

River lifted her head and gasped, for her hands were transparent as she looked for them.  
"Everything changes..." Book's voice was instant, he and Wash almost completely faded. "Even you, River. The you that in time..."  
"No!" River cried out. "I can't disappear! Not while he's like this! I just..." She fell against his chest sobbing. Sam coughed as he caressed her cheek.  
"My...turn...right?" He tries to smile for her.  
"Sam..." She whispered, lifting her head to face him. Her eyes were red and tears flowed like waterfalls.  
"I'll find you, River. I swear it." Sam placed his forehead to hers. "But before you go..." He hadn't finished the thought before she kissed him.

River Tam's kiss in reality told him everything she'd been to scared to. And Sam Winchester loved her evermore for it. He knew she was gone when her lips left his, her body gone from atop his.

And he laid dying on the bed he'd watched Jessica die from. The bed, he realized, Rachel had slept in, a shadow of River he'd just quite not met. The bed in which one very pissed off Demon had decided he wasn't dying fast enough in.

Ruby looked feral as she lunged for his neck. He shut his eyes, expecting her hands on his throat, too tired to fight. But then he heard her yell and fall from the bed. A warm presence had arrived.  
"You're dead!" Ruby screeched.  
"You made sure of that. Forgot it would revert me. Begone. Harlot of Hell."

Sam opened his eys as Ruby fled and had to blink. He was dying. The only explanation. She'd disappeared, had to go, unable to stay despite her wish to.  
"I am not River Tam of the Future. I am Raziel of the present." The Angel who stood there seemed to identify his confusion.  
"Ah."  
"Nasty wound that. I'd heal it but I've not the ability. Sammael's essence burns up keeping you alive, or you'd be long gone."  
"Uh huh..." Sam winced. "While I appreciate the extra time...I don't give a shit about my past life. Or for that matter either." Another cough of blood. Raziel's laugh filled his ears and she shook her head.  
"Course. I've heard of this rather impressive hospital. They could fix you up."  
"Ha!" Sam coughed. "Likely story. Where, Candyland?"  
"No." She placed a hand on his forehead, shutting her eyes. "Osiris."

* * *

Sam was aware of the nausea. The pain. The window of the hospital had two moons. No. Couldn't be. He was just dying Seeing double, coughing on blood and unable to fight his gag reflex. Where ever Raziel sent him, it was far away, and the process was libel to kill him before the wound.

He was of medical personnel getting him on a gurney, proceeding to inject him with something. As he faded, he thought he saw River. As his surroundings darkened, he heard her voice.

_I'm...from another planet..._ She'd been so scared when she finally told him. _Another time. Its called Osiris, ans my brother, Simon..._

He would be reborn. He'd find her. It was his turn.


	55. Epilogue

The damn doctor got in the way of that plan. He was too good at his job. Sam was alive, in a hospital bed, hooked up to an odd machine he couldn't identify.  
"Your vitals are recovering well...can you speak?"

The Doctor who spoke had well groomed black hair. He wore a white lab coat and dark blue scrubs. Sam was in a hospital, alive, patched up, and unable to find River for hundreds of years.  
"No!" Sam gasped, gripping his head as he sat up, wincing. "No..."  
"Uh huh. If you wanted to die, don't crawl into a top ranked hospital." The man exhaled. "My sister found you in the lobby with a gaping stomach wound. We were able to sew you up and fix the tear, but don't move much. Could be a month, and stomach acid damage is a bad thing to deal with..."  
"...Who are you?" Sam was half paying attention. The horrible white suit was gone. He was bandaged completely around his torso.  
"The attending on your case, Doctor Simon Tam. Do you have any allergies we should know about during your stay?"

Sam stopped completely as the words fit together. Osiris. Simon Tam. Who had a sister. An Angel who'd flung him through space and time.  
"...your sister isn't River Tam, by any chance, is she?" Sam inquired  
"Yeah, that's her. The famous teenage psychic." Simon replied non chalant.  
"The Alliance didn't take her?" Sam's heart grew lighter.  
"What alliance? Independents won the war...did you hit your head?"

Sam laid back in bed and smiled, holding a hand out toward the glass roof, which spaceships soared over._ Congratulations. You changed the future._ He smiled still, shutting his eyes. _And I'll see you soon, River Tam._


End file.
